Book review: “Happy to be Nappy” by bell hooks
by Tami Winfrey Harris
“Girlpie hair smells clean and sweet.”
I wish I could have read that opening line from bell hooks’ “Happy to be Nappy” (Hyperion Children’s Books, Ages 4 to 8 ) back in the summer of 1977, when my long, thick hair was cut into a short natural.
Back then, as too often is the case now, properly caring for black girl hair meant “taming” and straightening it, hiding its natural spirals, kinks and curls. My thick, long hair refused to be tamed, so, exasperated, my mother took me to get a perm relaxer. Like fellow guest contributor Deesha Philyaw and jillions of other young black girls, I had learned to covet silky, long locks. Now I had them. And I loved it.
Then it happened. The chemicals from the relaxer began to eat away at the back of my hair until my tresses were so uneven that I had no choice but to cut them all off and start over again. My mother tried to make the haircut less traumatizing. She took me to a fancy salon on Chicago’s Magnificent Mile and I got my ears pierced, too. In the late 70s, the afro was still a popular style, but the women in my life who were considered beautiful, including my mother and my grandmother, had long, straight hair. My favorite baby doll had a shiny, blond crop. As you can see from the photo above, my hair could not have been more different. And I hated it.
“Happy to be Nappy,” written by author and activist bell hooks and illustrated brilliantly by Chris Raschka, celebrates the beauty of natural black hair. This sweet story should be on the shelf of every little girl, be she nappy or not. It teaches acceptance and self-acceptance. hooks uses delicious phrases to describe “girlpie” hair and the myriad hairdos worn by little, black girls. Reading “soft like cotton,/ flower petal billowy soft, full of frizz and fuzz,” you cannot help but feel the author’s adoration for kinky tresses; she so deftly uses positive adjectives that little girls like 7-year-old me, with my thick, kinky afro and my beloved, blond doll, don’t hear nearly enough.
It is the naked love for nappy hair that makes “Happy to be Nappy” superior to the better-known and controversial “Nappy Hair” by Carolivia Herron. While “Nappy Hair” is far from evil, but in encouraging acceptance of textured tresses, it repeats too much of the slander often directed at black hair. By contrast, “Happy to be Nappy” is unabashedly positive. It is joyous and uplifting.
Raschka’s whimsical illustrations are as important to this book’s charm as hooks’ words. Publisher’s Weekly gushes, “master of minimalism, [Raschka] works here in nuanced, impressionistic watercolors and suggests his subjects with a quick stroke of the brush here, a graceful sweep of line there. Bolstering the theme of individuality, he provides softly shaded washes of varying hue that set off the dazzling array of hairstyles like anaura and create a rhythmic flow of color across the pages. Broad swoops conjure curls and braids, quick stripes of colors make barrettes, and tiny dots create beads.”
Three decades on, I look at that picture of me with my close-cropped kinks—my “girlpie” hair—and smile. I was pretty cute, if I do say so myself. But back then, I couldn’t wait to straighten my hair again, and I did, as soon as it grew long enough to catch with a hot comb. And I kept straightening until nearly two years ago. Today, I wear my hair natural by choice. It took me 30 years to love my God-given spirals and curls. I had to become a woman to appreciate my “girlpie” hair. But I hold out hope, with the aid of books like bell hooks’ “Happy to be Nappy,” that little girls of the next generation won’t take so long to love themselves.
This is the first of what will hopefully be regular reviews of resources that facilitate anti-racist parenting. If you have a book, music, film, etc. that you would like Anti-Racist Parent to review, please e-mail us at team@antiracistparent.com.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
DWS wrote:
Love the photo! Talk about timely, I have just started the process of transitioning to natural hair. It has been over 30 years since I saw my actual hair texture. Mind you this transformation is taking place right as my new daughter is about to join our family.
Between that and returning to the swimming pool after a decade to ensure my son learns water safety I would say being natural is the best choice for me and my children.
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 7:57 am ¶
Lea wrote:
Thanks for that book title. I will add it to my list.
Both of our girls are in the process of having their hair locked. Our younger daughter was first due to her habits of crying hysterically when it came time to do her hair. She would also make herself vomit when it was being combed, heck even if she just saw the comb.
Our older daughter asked for locks when she saw how they looked on our younger daughter.
I hope to keep them chemical free for as long as possible!
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 9:36 am ¶
Yoli wrote:
I will be buying that book as soon as I can. Thank you!
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 11:02 am ¶
J wrote:
Thanks for the book recommendation!! I’m always looking for fun racially-diverse books for my kid.
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 11:25 am ¶
BCmomtobe wrote:
Tammi, that is a lovely photo of you. Some AC women in my area have gone natural. One woman has her hair short, and it looks so lovely and so sharp; and emphasizes her cheekbones and eyes.I have just started my adoption process, but I am getting this book as soon as I can get my hands on it. It would be an excellent classroom resource, although honestly, I would talk to the parents of an African Canadian child first, in case they were uncomfortable with the term ‘nappy’. Should an AC child be placed with me, I will give Lea’s suggestion and consider locks.
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 2:42 pm ¶
knowgoodwhitepeople wrote:
Great post. Thanks for sharing your hair story and your pic. I didn’t have my hair pressed or permed as a kid, but my best friend did, and I remember always fussing at her every summer because she’d rarely get in the swimming pool with me and her brother. It wasn’t until we were grown that I really understood how much she yearned to swim with us, but she had to choose between having fun and keeping her hair straight — and I was adding to her injury.
I am a multi-ethnic woman (black father/white mother) with RosanneRosannaDannaish hair that my mother had no clue how to handle. Mostly she just kinda brushed it into a thick ponytail that never got untangled. In my childhood photos I always looked like an unkempt alleycat. Finally, my best friend’s mother combed it out for me when I was twelve and taught me how to use moisturizer and some petroleum jelly to tame it. In 1985 I cut it into a very short (what I call “the low low maintenence”) style, and have never gone back. It’s interesting how many men (especially white men) comment on the shortness of my hair — apparently “not every woman can get away with that style” ’cause I hear that “compliment” alot.
I have three grown daughters with various hair textures (curly to kinky). When they were little, I’d spend an entire weekend twice a month braiding their hair in cornrows. We watched every My Little Pony, Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake video in existence during the braiding process, and I tried to make it fun (though of course it was difficult for them to sit for hours at a time when they were really young). We experimented with different styles that featured brightly colored beads which we went to the bead store to pick out together.
I talked to my girls about where the terms “good” and “bad” hair came from and really made an effort to try to positively influence them regarding the beauty of God-given hair textures.
We all loved the braids — until middle school when peer pressure set in. That’s when my girls started asking for hair straightening (perm, press, etc.)
Now that they are 27, 25 and 23, they wouldn’t be caught dead in cornrows. All three of them flat iron every last trace of the kink out of their hair and two of them wear weaves. I should buy each of them a copy of Happy to be Nappy and see what kind of conversations it sparks.
I think my daughters are at their most beautiful with their natural God-given hair, but they don’t think it’s “attractive” enough. The reality is they want to be attractive to others (guys especially) so even though they will see a natural hair style on another black woman and comment on how beautiful it looks, they wouldn’t wear the style themselves.
I also have one “adopted” daughter (one of my girls’ friends) who does choose to wear her hair in a natural twist syle which is stunning on her. She’s in love with a man who wears his loc’d and he loves her hair, so she’s not too concerned with how others see it. She gets her share of both compliments and criticism. Once, a grown white man smirked at her in passing and yelled “why don’t you comb your hair”! When she told me about it, she casually laughed it off, but I could tell it hurt her feelings.
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 5:46 pm ¶
deesha wrote:
My hair is locked (since 2004), and my oldest daughter’s hair has been locked since first grade (she’s now in 3rd). My 4.5 year old is just starting the process. The oldest eventually chose locks after many tear-filled hair days, and the youngest chose them because she wants her hair to look like ours.
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 7:45 pm ¶
slackermom wrote:
great post about a favorite book in our house (both because of the illustrations and meaning and because is a short book to read before nap!).
the photo of you as a kid is priceless… adorable!
the post reminded me of two things…
1. the other “nappy hair” book by dr. herron… used by a 3rd grad teacher in brooklyn about ten years ago, which started a nationwide uproar.
http://www.carolivia.org/nappyhair/contro.html
and
2. as a white mom to a black (actually, in our family, brown is the term of choice) daughter with natural hair, my fear is of what would happen if we chose to loc her hair. she would look beautiful with locs, but after the age of 5, every single little african-american girl in her school has straightened hair. my main worry is how other black adults would view our decision to loc. i have one good friend with gorgeous locs down her back, but as she says, as a professor who teaches african-american history and education, no on is gonna say anything to her… my choice would be seen as more controversial. the only moms i know whose daughters have locs are white moms to AA girls…. all of the AA moms i know have their daughter’s hair straightened. i know that’s not the case everywhere, but it is definitely a theme where we live and go to school.
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 10:00 pm ¶
Liza wrote:
What a great picture, Tami. It’s priceless! Thanks for the review of Happy to be Nappy. I had heard of the Nappy Hair one, and was on the fence about buying it for my girls. But I’m excited to buy Happy to Be Nappy for them with its much more positive outlook. (You should be getting some sort of royalty here with the number of sales going to come through!).
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 6:11 am ¶
Atena wrote:
This book is required bedtime reading in our home (required by my 2-year-old daughter - “I want Happy to be Nappy, please!”). I adore it, for it’s positivity and its simple artfulness. This is what positive-self-image books should be like - something that underscores quality in writing, imagery and production (That book ‘Shades of Black’ falls so far short in comparison). My daughter knows the names of the author and illustrator.
We’ve come a long way. I remember seeing copies of Jet magazine and feeling disappointed with myself on a regular basis. I’m so happy for what we have to offer this generation.
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 6:46 am ¶
DWS wrote:
@knowgoodwhitepeople
Through deciding to go natural I actually ended up joining a natural hair group online because I have found so little support over the years from stylists, family, etc.
The truth is the black hair industry is a billion dollar plus industry. There is no incentive to encourage people to go natural. I won’t even get into the societal pressure.
I have no doubt someone who has lived it can address it better than I ever could.
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 7:00 am ¶
Janine deManda wrote:
my daughter loves “happy to be nappy” and the several other books she has by bell hooks. we read out the author and illustrator for each book before getting to the story, and it’s a running joke in our house that they’re all by bell hooks and chris raschka. just fyi, there’s also a fabulous dvd called “happy to be nappy and other stories of me” that includes this and other groovy kids books and wonderful interviews with kids roughly 6 and under about their self-concepts and the like.
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 12:04 pm ¶
gm wrote:
I bought this book for my daughter when she was about three. She immediately rejected it and didn’t want me to read it. She also couldn’t stand for me to let her wear her hair natural. I couldn’t understand how at three she already had picked up negative feelings about her hair. I attributed it to her classroom which had only a small amount of diversity. It motivated me to write an article about it for the school’s yearly publication. The director chose not to publish the publication rather than run my article which might make the school look not as diverse as it claimed to be.
My daughter has since gotten over these feelings as she rocks her “frolocs” as we like to call her tresses. But, it did take a lot of work on my part to give her the confidence I felt she needed about her whole self. But, she like most of us is still a work in progress.
PS DWS,
I have to see it to believe it.
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 12:33 pm ¶
knowgoodwhitepeople wrote:
@ DWS , thanks for reminding me about the economic aspect of this issue — I wasn’t considering the reality that many many black women and men actually feed their families by straightening and styling black hair! Whoa, I’m going to have to stop and think about that — that puts the issue in another light, doesn’t it?
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 12:44 pm ¶
DWS wrote:
@gm
I knew it would shock you. But I’m going to wait to the roots really grow in before I show you. In fact you probably remember better than I do what they actually look like!
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 1:58 pm ¶
deesha wrote:
gm:
“Frolocs”–LOVE it!
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 3:11 pm ¶
Psychobabbler wrote:
gm, I can testify to it. And she looks fab, as always.
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 5:23 pm ¶
h sofia wrote:
I cannot WAIT to get this book for my baby girl who is on the way (yay, September!). I don’t know if her hair will be “naptural” like mine, but I love bell hooks’ books, and I love the freedom and versatility of natural hair. So regardless of whether my child has tightly coiled hair like me, straight hair like her father, or something in between, she is going to be learning about this! And note: if I were having a boy child, he will also be learning to appreciate the beauty of nappy or naptural hair!
Posted 05 Jun 2008 at 7:44 pm ¶
Anita wrote:
That picture of you is so cute! And I’d love to get this book for my daughter. She’s East Indian (from me) and Caucasian; her hair is straight. But I love the message of self-acceptance, I love bell hooks, and that cover illustration is wonderful. Thanks for sharing this.
Posted 06 Jun 2008 at 9:23 am ¶