Comments

1. Maegan la Mala wrote:

   “arrrgggh” - that is the actuals sound that came out of me when I read “..our school has plenty of orientals.”

   But yeah, having a handful of token students of color is enough for some to qualify as diversity, but with a majority POC population, the school suddenly is scary or is interpreted as having low standards.

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 8:44 am ¶

2. Mickey wrote:

   Great post! I think some of the parents you refer to (the one’s who don’t try to find a diverse enviroment for their child) are not comfortable being the minority (even though their child is one).

   But what about the child? Why should the child be the trailblazer? School is tough enough; add in the fact that you are the “Other” and it gets tougher.

   If I make a concious choice to adopt a child who doesn’t look like me, it’s my job as the parent to make sure my child is exposed to children of all backgrounds, regardless of how uncomfortable I may feel.

   Also: Orientals. Seriously? I cringed when I saw that word. Just not cool.

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 9:13 am ¶

3. deesha wrote:

   Hey, hey, Paula..

   Great post. I particularly appreciate your turning the question of minority status around. I think it’s a great way to encourage people to move beyond the kneejerk “why should it matter?” reactions.

   Re: “Oriental”…in 2008, I can’t believe I’m still explaining to people why that term is problematic. Here’s a handy article for anyone who might be interested:

   http://journalism.nyu.edu/pubzone/livewire/archived/oriental_rugs_or_people/

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 10:36 am ¶

4. Sharon wrote:

   There was an intersting article in the _Washington Post_ a few years ago on a huge and racially diverse high school. It caught my attention b/c it’s the high school in our district (though my daughter is now just a toddler). Despite the diversity, however, many individual classes are still racially/ethnically segregated, with the advanced classes primarily attended by white and some Asian American students. The article is entitled, “Beyond black and white: What happens at a high school were everyone is a minority?” by Ylan Q. Mui, p. W22, April 4, 2004.

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 10:50 am ¶

5. turtlebella wrote:

   This is part of the reason that it drives me nuts when you hear so many (white) parents say that they moved to the suburbs “for the better schools.” I always want to say, “you mean, you want your kids to go to school with only other white kids.” Because somehow it comes down to lots/most white kids = good school, lots of kids of color = bad/dangerous school. At least when it comes to public schools, I don’t really know about private schools much.

   I’m glad that in my city we have school choice, because you’d better believe that I’ll be looking at diversity. Fortunately, as far as elementary school, our local one is very diverse (we choose our neighborhood purposefully for this reason) and is actually considered to be one of the better ones in the system, thus bucking the supposed/imagined trend (not that this means white upper middle class parents flock from the lily-white city neighborhoods to send their kids there or anything!).

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 11:09 am ¶

6. Umm Layth wrote:

   Hi everybody. This is my first time leaving a comment here. My nick means Mother of Layth for anyone who is curious.

   I wanted to thank you for writing this, Paula. When I was in school, I was always looked as that little mexican girl that just happens to look white. I couldn’t fit in properly with the white crowd and I could not fit in with my own people because of how light my skin color was. It really gave me headaches throughout my school years because I was teased for that by several people in different school years. I sometimes tried avoiding the hispanic crowd and that usually caused them to hate on me more because they thought I was just trying to act white - whatever that means.

   I want my children to experience the diversity, but yet learn to love and appreciate everyone as different. There should be no one that sticks out in their mind as more different than another. We all have different skin tones, different languages, and cultures. It’s all part of the beauty of creation.

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 11:47 am ¶

7. Lyonside wrote:

   >At least when it comes to public schools, I don’t really know about private schools much.

   Turtlebella, at least in my neck of the woods (Philadelphia and the suburbs thereof), there are 2 kinds of private school - Catholic, and non-Catholic. The Catholic private schools are under the diocese, but are independently run and are not “parochial” schools. The non-Catholic schools are often Quaker-affliated, or have no religious affiliation. There’s also one Mennonite private school I can think of.

   Whether Catholic or non-Catholic, “private” = 90-95% white, 3% asian/latino, 2% black, or something around those lines (switch the ethnicities around, add a few percentage points, etc). If a school gets to that 10% threshhold of visible ethnic diversity, it’s considered diverse.

   Now, Catholic parochial schools are a different story - for grade schools, they either tend to mimic their attached parish (either very white or very diverse, in my experiences), or they reflect the neighborhood and not the parish, which means that non-Catholic parents are sending their kids to school for the education, smaller classes, and discipline, rather than the local public schools. Catholic high schools lose some diversity, because of increased cost vs. parochial schools, but there is still more diversity in most than I expect to see in private schools.

   Caveat: I went through 19 years of private Catholic schooling in Philadelphia and outside of Philadelphia. My mother teaches in Philly’s public school district. I’m basing the rest of my observations on my parish school, other parish schools that I’ve seen, experiences meeting and visiting non-Catholic private schools (in my area, usually in the very white very wealthy suburbs), walk-throughs of other parochial high schools, knowledge ofdiversity in the US Catholic Church and my local diocese, and the public school districts’ demographics and what I know of local neighborhood compositions. In other words, “Your experience may vary.”

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 1:45 pm ¶

8. Lisa (Blah Blah) wrote:

   Apologies in advance for the long comment, but I think my blood pressure just spiked reading this post! I have a hard time dealing with the well-meaning types who honestly don’t see any problem with these types of comments. “Orientals”!!! Are you kidding me?

   Too often it seems that people of color find ourselves taking deep breaths and trying to explain why comments are offensive without alienating the person we are unexpectedly having to educate. Too often I find myself in this situation while my 5-year-old is with me - where I have to either couch my language very carefully or even worse, abruptly cut off the conversation rather than educate the person. I am of mixed heritage (black-white-native american) but appear white to most. My husband is easily identifiable as African-American, as is our daughter. A mom at our daughter’s very diverse preschool cornered me once and started going on at length about how much she loves “the African-American race” — I guess as a pre-emptive way of telling me she is not racist…?

   Over time, I’ve had conversations with other African-American parents at the school and discovered that they had all had similar encounters with her. Most, especially if they had their kids with them, were inclined to just smile and nod and get away from her as quickly as possible. One had a very frank and heated discussion with her about why this was not an okay thing to say because contrary to what her intention may be, it just highlighted the fact that she was noting us as “other” and being a bit patronizing while doing it.

   It went on a bit and the “I love black people” mom no longer speaks to the person who confronted her. The other mom finally said to her (and I’m paraphrasing), “We don’t care if you like us or not. We aren’t even thinking about that. We’re just people going about our business and you’re the one making us feel self-conscious about something we’re not even thinking about.”

   Re: APs not willing to move so their kids can go to more diverse schools: I’ve been looking at public kindergartens lately and the “good” schools with strong academic and creative programs have nowhere near the racial/ethnic mix my daughter’s current private school has. It looks like we’re stuck paying tuition rather than taking her out of an environment where there are both students and teachers from a variety of backgrounds (and where she’s not the only Afr-Am child in her class).

   I know Caucasian families who do actually factor these things into their school choices, but then I guess it’s natural that I would be friends with people who are like-minded. Nonetheless, it gives me a bit of hope…

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 2:41 pm ¶

9. Lyonside wrote:

   Correction: Catholic PAROCHIAL high schools lose some diversity, because of increased cost vs. parochial GRADE schools…

   Posted 05 May 2008 at 2:48 pm ¶

10. Marcia wrote:

    I love this post. I am a white parent and I have two biological kids and and an adopted daughter from China. My daughter is in a special needs 3 year old pre-k right now in a school that is predominantly black. There are only ~7 kids in her class and she is the only Asian. It is a public school and we have her there because the other children have similar special needs. It is a wonderful school and the teachers are wonderful. But when she is old enough for kindergarten, we hope that she will have caught up enough to go to the private school that my older children are in. Their school is a private Catholic school that is very diverse (much more so than the school she is in now). We are not Catholic, but like the school. It is ~40% black, 40% white, 10% hispanic and 10% asian. I live in a big city and we have a very diverse population. I’ve always thought that it was great that my kids were going to such a diverse school but how important will it be for my daughter to have other Chinese Asians in her school? Most of the Asian children at their school are Vietnamese. I wouldn’t want her to feel like she was different from the others. However, in my son’s kindergarten class right now, he is only one of two white kids, and he doesn’t seem to know it or care.

    Posted 05 May 2008 at 3:12 pm ¶

11. Marian wrote:

    Good thoughts. These decisions are always tough for transracial adoptive parents, and they definitely deserve consideration before an adoption even takes place.

    By way of relevant introduction: My husband and I are white, and we are the parents of 3 bio. children, and one Ethiopian child (so far). Our semi-urban neighborhood is somewhat diverse, and our urban church is (estimating here…) probably nearly 40% non-white, most being African-American. Currently homeschooling, so I guess our white student population stands at 75% currently.

    Your question about how people would feel if they were the minority made me think of my older boys’ summer camp experiences for the past 2 summers. They attended an 8 week 8:30am - 5pm day camp in which they were very much in the minority. Of about 150 campers, 5 or 6 have been white, and the rest inner city African-American. Both boys were the only white kids in their class. Staff was maybe 50/50 black/white.

    It didn’t even occur to them for quite some time that they were in the minority in any way. After a few weeks, they did begin to comment occasionally on cultural and behavioral norms that were different. Then, one day several weeks into camp, a kid my one son’s class was goofing around and said, “There’s something brown, and it’s on your back!” “What is it?” “My hand!” It seems that this was the first time skin color even occured to my son! A few days (and probably many interesting thought processes) later, he started expressing a desire for brown skin, because his was so pale and plain. Sounds like our black girls longing for straight hair, or our Asian kids longing for almond-shaped eyes, doesn’t it? Their vocabulary changed mightily, too, I have to add– not for the better for anyone hoping to fit in among suburban whites.

    Camp’s not going to work out this year, but I think that those 2 summers as the extreme minority will prove an invaluable experience for them to call upon as they try to have some understanding of their black sibling in some settings.

    Posted 05 May 2008 at 4:51 pm ¶

12. Dan (Blah, blah)^2 wrote:

    Race isn’t everything though…Lisa’s post is well put and Marcia’s situation is another great example of why the individual matters.

    Back in January we moved from the Colorado burbs back into the city to raise our African American son (we’re both white). We moved to the neighborhood that our extensive research determined to be the best for our boy that we could afford, and that was reasonably close to a new job (we’re over-educated underpaid educator/public service types). Yes, we are now surrounded by diversity in a relatively safe neighborhood. Score for us and our son (a wee baby).

    It’s our plan to send him to public school. We landed near one of the few schools in the state with the highest % of AfAm students. (A quick look at the National Center for Ed Statistics web site shows our local public elementary at 57% AfAm, 36% Hispanic…and 6.1% white BTW). Is this a perfect picture of diversity? Sounds great, lotsa kids that look like him.

    But our school decision will not be based solely on race and finding kids that look like him. Nor should any school decision.
    1) First and foremost, we’ll need to assess our son as an individual, see where he’s at, and what his own needs are at the time.
    2)We’ll need to monitor the school, the neighborhood, etc. over the next few years to determine if this is the best fit for our son based on his abilities and interests.
    3)We will have to look at other factors as well, including income and achievement of other kids in the school and district (and by achievement I mean not only test scores but also–and more importantly–completion rates, going on to college or trade schools, etc.).
    4)Also important is the schools trajectory of improvement…or not.

    In the end, we’ll still need to consider busting our butts to afford a private school if we need to, regardless of race.

    In a private school he may be one child in a 10% racial minority. But in this public school, he may be one child in a 10% middle class minorities (81% of students are eligible for free lunch at our local elementary).

    If he can be surrounded by kids that are motivated and encouraged to learn at either of the schools we consider, the decision is easier. Poor friends aren’t bad by any means (I got free lunch as a kid). But if there is a large % of high risk kids, he may have a hard time identifying with many of his school peers who are likeley to have many experiences at home that he will not be familiar with (whether they be white, black, brown or other).

    Fact is, by the end of middle school, statistics get pretty dreary for AfAm achievement, especially for a boy. Maybe a private school could be a good fit when he gets older, if he seems to be slipping (and we know why), or is bored with the curricula. (Granted, he may have a hard time relating to the wealthier private school kids too, depending on the school)

    So long as he can be comfortable in his skin, understand his culture and ours, be happy, and never come to equate “Black” with “Poor” or “Not White” with “Not Good,” I feel like we will have done our jobs.

    Posted 05 May 2008 at 6:13 pm ¶

13. Liza wrote:

    Great post, Paula (and welcome back ARP!).
    Because I know there is a mixed audience of white AP, POC APs, etc., I definitely respect the “it’s not an option to move” sentiment if it’s said by a white parent who “gets it.” Loosely related, my daughter Joli has a prosthetic eye having battled cancer. It’s not an option for me to move to a school that has kids with only prosthetic eyes (but, woah, that would be so cool for us!). So, I respect that there are people who do choose to adopt who may not have privilege enough to just uproot their family and leave for a more diverse place. After all, uprooting your family and to have the ability to move to diverse places usually requires that people have some sort of financial ability to do so. And, given that adoption is a very costly process, I can only imagine how that drains resources to be able to just up-and-move.

    I think really aware parents who choose to have their child be “the pioneer” do end up raising strong children who are proud of their heritage and appreciate their life experience as a POC (specifically). I hope that’s where that comment is coming from — although, the pessimist in me realizes it probably comes from a more “I Love My Colorblind World” prospective. I know that Joli may never find the day when there is another child with a “special eye” in her classroom. So, in that regard, she is a pioneer. But, as her parents, we’ve prepared her to be strong, empowered her to speak up against anyone who may make fun of her, and given her tools to stick up for any other kid she sees being treated poorly by others.

    And, yes, “Oriental”….. nice. Probably makes you glad, Paula, that you’re NOT sending your kids to that school. We all know, if the parent says it….. the kids aren’t too far behind.

    Posted 05 May 2008 at 6:37 pm ¶

14. Bookwormish wrote:

    I’m in Australia and we don’t use the “O” word as they do in England in to describe Asians - except I heard it for the first time a couple of months ago when my baby’s community nurse said, “YOU Orientals have Mongolian spots”. I live in a very WASPy area. Any one of colour sticks out like a sore thumb. It’s not an affluent area, infact the public schools down here are notorious - which is the reason I won’t be sending my son (hapa) to a public school in my area - it’s rough and there’s no one of colour. If I didn’t enjoy the low key and affordable coastal lifestyle where we are, I would definitely move back to the city where there is more of an ethnic mix. I grew up in a low socio-economic white industrial area and it was really damaging being the only Asian kid and one of the few kids whose parents valued education. My friends who went to schools with more of an ethnic mix did much better socially. I also have friends who were in similar situation to me but were more resilient - however they do admit to over compensating and assimilating to the point of denying their own cultural background.
    I’m not sure what we will do - as I would like my son to grow up with more cultural diversity. It exists in the city where we live, just not in our corner of town.
    Maybe we have to bite the bullet, get our finances in order and try to move back to the inner city. There’s a decent mix of cultures in the inner city public schools.

    Posted 05 May 2008 at 11:24 pm ¶

15. Lyonside wrote:

    My kid just erased my post (sigh - anyone want a toddler?)… Apologies if 1/2 of this shows up twice.

    >I’ve always thought that it was great that my kids were going to such a diverse school but how important will it be for my daughter to have other Chinese Asians in her school?

    First off, your daughter’s identit

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 8:12 am ¶

16. Lyonside wrote:

    *sigh* I repeat, anyone want a toddler?
    ——-

    First off, your daughter’s identity as a TRA is something she will have to develop, hopefully with her supportive mom That doesn’t have to happen in school, and the presence of Chinese Asians in her school may or may not help (say, if they’re 3rd generation Americans, or if none are adoptees, or even mainland vs. Taiwanese, etc.)

    >>Most of the Asian children at their school are Vietnamese. I wouldn’t want her to feel like she was different from the others

    Speaking as a non-Asian, but someone who has often been “the only one in the class,” for YEARS on end, I can say that just HAVING ethnic diversity in a class is a plus. It allows people to acknowlege physical differences, different histories and traditions, etc. without feeling like a museum curio or a walking stereotype (or fearing becoming one). In the best teaching environment, it allows for more than one story to be told.

    Having other Asians in a class, who will share some physical characteristics and some history as well, also strikes me as a benefit. When your daughter is targeted for her ethnicity (and it’ll happen, sadly, either in or out of school, no matter how diverse the school or community), it won’t be for her birth country’s ways of celebrating New Year, or for the government’s political actions… it will most likely be based on appearance and stereotypes of speech and behavior - and that’s the kind of crap that most Asians experience. It would be good for her to have not only people at her back (they can be of any ethnicity), but people who have heard the same things and have dealt with it in various ways.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 8:27 am ¶

17. bms2000 wrote:

    Well, put me in the ’stuck in suburbia and making the best of it’ pile. We bought our house before a)we decided to adopt and b) before housing prices in New England went through the roof. Moving would mean a long and difficult commute from an even less diverse suburb - the closer to the city, the more expensive. My kids’ school is not screamingly diverse, but they are by no means the only kids of color either. We do our best to get diversity elsewhere - by attending a more diverse church in the city, by enrolling them in programs in more diverse neighborhoods (where I am the minority, which tickles them to no end), and by generally letting them know that this town is not the whole world. But there are economic realities. I cannot afford to pay for a private school. My husband has a good flexible job with great benefits, and we would all suffer if he gave that up to move. Apparently I am a terrible parent because of this, but I do what I can.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 11:43 am ¶

18. Lyonside wrote:

    >Apparently I am a terrible parent because of this, but I do what I can.

    No one is saying this, and if you got that impression from anything I posted, then I apologize. Some commentators here are lucky enough to either afford private schools that are diverse (although my local private schools are not) or move to a more diverse area, etc. Some of that “private school” education is doubtless through scholarships, financial aid, and multiple jobs (in my case, all of the above, plus my mother not buying a house despite a decent market in the early 80s and a stellar credit record). And noone here is saying that any family should lose a good job or sell the family home at a loss or send your children to a substandard school for the sheer sake of diversity.

    The POINT is that regional differences make a big impact on what diversity in education means, and people have to develop different strategies. You have evidently developed your own, as I have to.

    When I was pregnant, my husband changed (and changed and changed) jobs, and we moved to a less diverse suburb, farther away from the city. I checked the local school district before we moved (since we also cannot afford private or parochial school) and it was better from a diversity standpoint than my own schools, and had a good reputation. In the shrot term, I’m OK with what we can get.

    I would love to move to a more diverse area, where the cops, politicians, fire fighters (of those 3, haven’t seen one yet), and store owners are ethnic minorities (aside from a few restaurants and fast food franchises, that doesn’t seem to be the case). But my spouse can walk to work and has decent benefits, and works full time. When our daughter is older and I’m working full time again, I suspect we’re going to have that “moving” talk.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 1:32 pm ¶

19. turtlebella wrote:

    Taking into the very real situations like bms2000 and Liza describe, you know what bugs me about the “Moving just wasn’t an option” statement? It’s that so many (mostly white) parents do exactly this when they have children — they move to the suburbs because the schools are “better.” I already touched on this, but it hits a nerve with me. I constantly see young couples who have chosen to live in the city as young hipsters who move away once they have kids. Safe neighborhoods and schools are the reason.

    So if some people are willing to move primarily to put their kids in better (which I would argue is code for more white kids/families) schools, then why aren’t parents of transracially adopted kids willing to move to places where their kids will not be the minority?

    Two answers I can come up with:
    1) Being rather nice and giving the benefit of the doubt: They believe they & the world should be colorblind.
    2) More sinister: They are racist (whether overtly or tacitly).

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 1:37 pm ¶

20. Patti wrote:

    When my son was born we moved to an area of the state that is very diverse in every way. When our (3) kids are old enough to start public school, they will be in an excellent school system that reflects the amazing diversity of our town. We were in a position to make this move though - not just financially, but we also could make a commute to work and did not need to remain where we were because of a situation where we were caregivers to older relatives.
    Sometimes the possibility is just not there for people to move to a more diverse area or they know that it will have to be in the future.
    As far as being the “only” person in a situation, in college I was the only white woman living inthe African American Womens dorm. I was a transfer student and there was an open room. Whatever - I made great friends, learned a lot and stayed there for the rest of my time at college. But, I am really really aware that things are different at 19 than at 9.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 6:43 pm ¶

21. Sharon wrote:

    I think there are some additional reasons people move to the burbs. Usually, people can afford larger homes in the burbs than they can in the city, and they can have a yard. The burbs also tend to be quieter, which some people prefer. (Whether these factors benefit kids is a separate question, but I do think they are reasons people move out.) But now that gas prices are going up and many suburban dwellers have city jobs, homes in the burbs may not be as cost effective, compared to living in the city, as people had thought.

    I agree many people are racist and many believe in color-blindness, but some burb dwellers make efforts in ways other than moving not to have all-white lives.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 7:46 pm ¶

22. Jessica wrote:

    My husband went to public school in DC in the mid eighties through the nineties. He was usually one of a few white kids. He said he didn’t think it had any kind of negative impact on him.

    I went to a school that was very white, in fact it was foudned as an antisegration school in the early 60’s in Southern Virginia. The school tried to do things to celebrate diversity by putting the minority kids on display in all of its promotional matierals and at special assemblies we were made to share our culture minority cultures or religon. (I’m Jewish was one of I think 4 other Jews in the school) I kind of had mixed feelings about it becuase I wanted my classmates to understand my beliefes better but it kind of put a bad feeling in my mouth that the onus of doing so was on the students. I don’t think I was alone in that feeling.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 8:39 pm ¶

23. dianne m wrote:

    Where I live, after living in the city AND in the ‘burbs, I find the ‘burbs to be more functionally diverse, at least where we are. There was more diversity by % in the city, but blocks were quite segregated. Where we are now, there is still diversity, and though by % it is less, the neighborhood is extremely well-integrated (and we have neighborhood schools). We have a bio-son and are hoping to adopt a son from Korea. We have felt we were in a good place, as far as diversity goes. I strongly felt that people easily living next to one another, regardless of ethnicity was more important than there being more representatives of any given non-white group. Could folks here give me their thoughts on this? Please…I know we will deal w/ racism (even as a “white looking” person of native descent, I have sometimes been blind sided by it, so I have no delusions that our adopted son will not have to deal w/ that). I genuinely want to be a good mom…I would especially like to hear the thoughts of trans-”racial” adopteees.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 8:47 pm ¶

24. dianne m wrote:

    Oh, and if this is “high-jacking” the thread (sorry, don’t spend much time on-line talking w/ folks), let me know and I will share my email.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 8:50 pm ¶

25. Max wrote:

    I asked a friend and neighbor of mine what kind of worries she had about her boys in school since there are so few black kids (mainly white and hispanic.)

    She acted like this thought had never crossed her mind. I explained that we were considering a move to another local school since the number of Asians was huge and our daughter is Chinese.

    She said she had never worried about it, but now, after listening to me, maybe she would!

    For good reasons, I’m completely fixated on figuring out if we have “enough” Asians at our current school for my child to see herself reflected in the hallways or if we should move. Granted, her children get to be raised by parents of the same race, but it did shock me to hear her talk like that.

    Posted 06 May 2008 at 10:08 pm ¶

26. Maura wrote:

    My daughter is adopted from China and I agree that it makes me cringe when AP’s insist that it is too inconvenient to ensure their children are raised in a diverse environment. We lived in NYC and when we decided to move to the ‘burbs we made sure it was a town well known for diversity. My daughter’s pre school class is only about 30% white. Her school is run by all Asian women - it’s not the fanciest school around - but she is getting what I think she needs. a warm loving environment and a place where she has positive role models (that look like her) .

    Posted 07 May 2008 at 8:50 am ¶

27. Marian wrote:

    I do agree with Sharon. In many places the city is your only option for living amidst diversity. The ‘burbs DO offer things that the city does not: yards and more connection with nature, larger houses, and so on. These things are especially desirable to people with many children. (We live in a pretty urban area, but I’m constantly coveting/debating the suburban option as I hear my neighbors whose houses are 2.5 feet away, can’t find an on-street parking place near my house, listen to the bus brakes and traffic, pick up the litter, and cope with the many irksome qualities of a really old city house!)
    So what’s better in your child and family’s overall picture? What other diversity- related assets are in your lives that do not depend on your home address? Each family will be different, and the decision is likely to be difficult for each on different points.

    I do believe, from hearing conversations and comments, that there are plenty of families who don’t give enough careful thought to the choices, and that, yes, many probably say a little too easily that they “can’t” follow a less comfortable path. However, I think it’s presumptive and disrespefctful to very quickly assign racist motives or that naive “everyone should be colorblind” mentality to parents navigating these murky waters and doing their best to serve their families.

    As for the frequently used “better schools” reasoning: Yes, definitely there are folks who are racist and wanting a pre-dominantly white school. But, unfortunately, the facts in many places do often say that the suburban schools do better in terms of academics and safety. For some folks, metal detectors and a massive drop-out rate are acceptable concessions to make, considering their particular children’s personalities and needs, to gain diversity at school. For others, they aren’t.

    We all need to be really honest about our motives and encourage others to do the same, stamping out the racism that we may find in our hearts. But then, so clarified, we need to do the hard work of leading our familes and respectfully letting others do the same.

    Posted 07 May 2008 at 3:08 pm ¶

28. LH wrote:

    I’m right there with ya, Max. I worry incessantly about the Asian population percentages at the schools my daughter will have access to attend in our area (not very diverse). Like you, I asked an Asian friend once about how big of a role diversity played in her decisions re: school. She gave me a strange look and told me not to worry about this at all. But still, I do. Kindergarten is right around the corner…

    Posted 08 May 2008 at 9:08 pm ¶

29. Roger Green wrote:

    My daughter (mixed race black/white) is four so I certainly understand your desire for diversity, and we have been lucky (so far) in this regard.

    On another matter, I know a number of (mostly older) white males who use Oriental often, usually in sentences like “Those Oriental girls are really dominating golf.” Don’t know just how to correct them without sounding pedantic.

    Posted 09 May 2008 at 10:36 am ¶

30. Dan wrote:

    How come no one speaks up when whites use offensive nomenclatures to describe non-whites?

    Silence is collaboration. That is how racism and prejudice has been able to perpetuate. Because more often than not, folks are unwilling to be confrontational whether it be to family, friends, or acquaintances.

    Please adopt a zero tolerance policy and challenge anyone with a warped view of races not of their own. It’s a too often overlooked way in combating stereotypes, prejudice, and bigotry.

    Posted 21 May 2008 at 6:57 am ¶

31. Jason wrote:

    hey i am 14 years old, White and would like to share my point of view. I live on an all Hispanic street. My school is heavily diverse and in my classes, majority is non- white. To some of you, perhaps, this is the enviornment you would love your children to be. In my opinion, i dislike this feeling and would rather spend my life around all people of European decent. Now, you may dislike this opinion. But i hope you all understand that the reason why there is a Black group or Asian group is because they dont want to be a minority either. THEY want to be with their own kind. I hope you understand the way i feel just as i can understand how you all want your children to grow up in a diverse enviornment. You and your children most likely live in a all or predominately white neighborhood/ school setting, which is why you’re so concerned about exposing to them diversity. On the other hand, Whites like me would rather be with their own race. Thanks for reading. Me being a teenager understand different opinions im sure parents understand what i feel.

    Posted 23 May 2008 at 5:02 pm ¶

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