Is it ok for parents to adopt transracially to solve their racial hangups?
by Carmen Van Kerckhove
Wendi Muse recently pointed me to a blog post at Upside-Down Adoption about televangelist Rev. Creflo Dollar.
Dollar and his wife are African-American but chose to adopt a white child when they first got engaged. Here’s how he explained it to AOL Black Voices:
Why did you choose to have a family before marriage and why adopt white children when there are so many black children languishing in foster care?
I asked the same question — it was God’s solution for my racist attitude (laughs). I grew up in a household where we had a problem with white folks. And when the spirit of God told me to [adopt], he said I’m going to resolve some of your past issues and at the same time, use it as an example to really break the spirit of racism; not only in your life, but in the lives of other people. I’ve had an opportunity since then to be able to teach a lot of people for how to overcome a spirit of racism, which is really a spirit of division. But then later on, we went ahead and adopted a black kid too. Now the boys that I’ve adopted are planning to adopt one kid themselves, because of what happened to them.
I have to say that I was pretty taken aback when I read this. Not because Dollar was raised to be racist towards whites (I think that anti-white sentiments are more common among people of color than we’d care to admit) but because he felt that parenting a white child would be a way for him to work out his personal race issues.
What do you think about parents who adopt transracially in order to resolve their own issues with race and racism?
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
atlasien wrote:
Thanks for the link
I believe it is not okay to adopt transracially in order to work out your own racial issues, or those of society. Adoption should be about the child first. “Political adoption” has been around for a while though.
To really understand Creflo Dollar’s position and how he’s articulating it for his congregation, you’d have to understand that evangelism culture… which I’m not truly familiar with, although it’s pretty strong around here. Many of these churches are fervently interracial. A large number (not all) are also fervently homophobic, like Creflo Dollar (though he soft-peddles it in that interview).
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 7:39 am ¶
SB wrote:
I’m not in favor of it, but t’s very hard for me to believe that this is a significant phenomenon. Most people are not at all self aware enough to even realize that they are racist, so they would claim that they were not racist when adopting. And those people who are aware they are racist and willing to admit are often not interested in changing (which is part of why it’s such a trenchant problem). I have to conclude that the subset of people who are a) racist b) aware of it c) wwanting to change and d) interested in adopting children for any reason must be quite small.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 8:50 am ¶
Jae Ran wrote:
I think this puts the child at a very vulnerable position of being the racial “bridge” and I think it’s an unfair burden on the child.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 9:13 am ¶
Green SAHM wrote:
That bugs me. While it’s good to want to get over a racial hangup, pinning that on a child isn’t fair to the child.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 11:13 am ¶
AmericanFamily/Amber wrote:
I would vote no. The whole idea of that just creeps me out. What if the adoptiong DOESN”T resolve the racial hang ups? I would hate to be the poor kid who was adopted into that situation.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 12:08 pm ¶
MKBookWorks wrote:
I can not imagine a circumstance where adopting a child for any reason other than a sincere desire to parent a child who needs a family would or could be a valid reason for that adoption! A child adopted has enough to deal with - that another layer of issue is more than he/she should have to be burdened with. Recognizing that a child who will be different (based on socially constructed categories) enough form his/her parents and working on issues around one’s own biases etc. to address a child’s needs is one thing - to attempt to solve one’s own issues by way of a child could be harmful to the child.
MKC - Mom to one child adopted internationally and waiting for another. Note: we are preferential adopters.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 2:22 pm ¶
tamara wrote:
I understand Dollar’s desire to work out his race issues, but the way he is going about it could be very detrimental to the children he is raising. Reverse the roles. Would it ever be ok for a racist white family to adopt children of color in order for that white family to work through its race issues? Just imagine the media frenzy if that ever happened.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 2:24 pm ¶
kim wrote:
Assuming this is a real interview, and not a hoax…
The impersonal tone of Mr. Dollar is more than a little off-putting, (the boys I adopted…adopt a kid themselves), and objectifying. Though, to buttress attributed statements, sounds like someone working his experiment.
As for the evanlegistic zeal and fervor toward interracialism that was spoken of up-thread, I, too, have noticed the same where it regards the big church, neo-Christian, fundamentalist, pecuniary and proprietary-driven, so-called “non-denominational” Christian groups.
It is as though the public face of a multicultural Christian family, and specifically when respective families are formed of this composition, is proof positive of the elimination of the ignorance, smallness and outright hatred that so many Americans are bottle-fed. It is as though it is manifest proof of the transformation on otherwise wayward souls of the acceptance of Jesus Christ.
If Mr. Dollar’s statements were ever spoken to me in conversation, as being both the motivation and core of the intent of the adoption, I would truly have to express my feelings: how self-serving.
Perhaps, and hopefully, submitting to the nuanced and tender needs that family life requires of each of us, was something Mr. Dollar did with his whole heart.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 6:23 pm ¶
Rain wrote:
it’s hard enough to be adopted without adding that burden to all the other ones that adoptees face. This is really a bad idea . . .
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 6:26 pm ¶
Tracey wrote:
As an African American mom to an Ethiopian-born daughter, I always cringe when I hear white parents say that their extended family is racist, but they are sure that once they meet the new grandchild/niece/nephew that their hearts will just melt. Yeah, right, and the child is never going to pick up on the fact that Granny hates black folks. Well, I have to say this is situation is just as bad. Has he not heard of therapy, prayer, introspection? Did he have a hoemstudy? I can see it now, the social worker asks why he wants to adopt, and he says to cure himself of racism. How must the child (now adult I presume) feel?
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 6:50 pm ¶
Scrapsbynobody wrote:
I’m not sure I would want to say that out loud, much less in an interview…but doesn’t it inevitably happen along the way? I mean, even the most well intentioned loving people have racial issues they don’t even know about, and it WILL be worked out one way or the other if you adopt transracially. Is it OK to anticipate this? I am learning an awful lot about my shortcomings through this adoption experience, racial issues only being one thing.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 8:41 pm ¶
Jeremy Pierce wrote:
I’d be a bit less inclined to criticize him, for two reasons. He thinks God was telling him to do it to help overcome his racism, but he doesn’t say that was his own reason. His own reason was to obey what he thought God was telling him to do. If we take him seriously that this is what he thought God was telling him to do (as I do), then I don’t think we can assume that he himself was motivated by the purpose that he later thinks God had for it. Maybe he was, but I don’t know that from reading this. When he says God said this to him, it’s not clear to me whether he thinks God gave him that whole message before he adopted or whether he thinks God spoke that message through the process of adopting and raising a white child. I’ve seen people say what he said and mean exactly that sort of thing. I’d need to hear more about how he thinks God spoke to him.
Now as to the substance, I think it’s a bit far to suggest that no one with racist inclinations could ever adopt cross-racially. That would rule out almost all cross-racial adoption, since we all have some racist inclinations, even if they’re unconscious and even if we don’t like that fact about ourselves. Since black parents can manifest anti-black attitudes at times, the same argument seems to rule out black parents having black kids.
Does he indicate how strong and how pervasive his racist attitudes or inclinations were? I don’t see that. So, even assuming that the motivation he attributes to God was his own motivation before the fact, I’d want to know a little more about the particular ways he thought of himself as racist before declaring him unfit to raise a white kid.
Posted 27 Aug 2007 at 10:15 pm ¶
atlasien wrote:
It’s impossible to establish a quantitative “racism-free” requirement for adoptive parents. That’s not what’s being argued though.
Simply put, there are good reasons and bad reasons for adopting, layered around the core motivation of “because I want to/need to”. Ideally, adoptive parents should have more good reasons than bad reasons. “The adoption will solve some external problem” is always a bad one because it isn’t very healthy for the future adoptee. For example, “this adoption will save my marriage” or “this adoption will solve racism”.
“Because God told me to”, by itself, is also a terrible reason… and I’m just repeating what I’ve already heard argued by several devout Christians on this topic. You can believe God is infallible but humans certainly aren’t, they often decide later they heard God wrong.
Posted 28 Aug 2007 at 9:56 am ¶
Amie Kim wrote:
One good thing about this man is that at least he’s honest. I think *all* adoptive parents have hidden agendas. The more self-aware and out in the open they are about them, the better.
Posted 30 Aug 2007 at 12:44 pm ¶
Laura wrote:
I don’t think this is a fair thing to do at all! What if it doesn’t solve the parents ‘racist’ attitudes. Then the child suffers. And I agree with previous comments that asking a child to act as a bridge or resolve their parents issues is way too huge impossible for a child. If you read further on this man, he also believes in spanking or ‘a good whippin’ and states that it didn’t hurt him. In think in general, this persons parenting skills and motivation are questionable for me.
Posted 30 Aug 2007 at 4:02 pm ¶
kim wrote:
Such “honesty” often smacks of a public claim to a stain on his soul, and places the Good Rev. squarely in the bullseye of one of those who has “also sinned”.
I liken such (public) revelations and proclamations to seeking something similar to “street cred,” in order to be viewed, on one level, as less an object of deification (often decried, anyway), and more an example of the righteous transformation possible under Christianity. Most importantly, it fleshes out a tale of long, hard nights spent crossing the pastor’sown ache-inducing desert, carrying his own cross. And combats the idea that he has always been, or claims to be seen as, “pure.”
I doubt Mr. Dollar has any drug and addiction tales to reveal, no scandalous sexcapades or teenage gang-style thefts and assauts to regale the congregation with, but this will do, as “blackened” hearts go.
This type of honesty is standard fare for the course, as big churchers go. A handclap for the honesty ? I would struggle with that.
Posted 30 Aug 2007 at 10:20 pm ¶
wendi muse wrote:
thanks for posting this, carmen.
with regard to what amie kim said, i am not so sure about the assertion that ALL adoptive parents have hidden agendas. i plan to adopt one day in the future, not to further a personal hidden agenda, but to provide a family unit and home for a child without one in his or her life.
Posted 30 Aug 2007 at 10:48 pm ¶
wendi muse wrote:
one more thing…biological parents bring children in the world with hidden agendas ALL the time…here are a few that come to mind;
1. to keep their relationship together
2. to see what their child would look like
3. to give them a better life than they had
4. to live vicariously through their offspring
5. to appease grandchild(ren)-hungry parents
6. to have a tax break? lol
7. to fulfill what society seems to stress is an obligation for male/female couples
8. to aid the citizenship process (i.e. in the US where your child will automatically be considered a citizen if born here)
and of course the list could go on and on based on the individual parents’ personal motives
so i mean with regard to hidden agendas, couldn’t bio parents, except maybe those who get pregnant by accident, be considered in the same boat?
i don’t think they are, but i am providing these examples to show how absurd it is to assume that all bio OR adoptive parents have motives like that
Posted 31 Aug 2007 at 7:28 pm ¶
kim wrote:
Wendi Muse:
I made a similar list yesterday, stuck at soccer practice, and stressed to the max.
I like the way yours is applicable to this conversation/discussion.
I would say that even bio-parents who get pregnant by accident, as they have chosen to parent the child, could be considered to be in the same boat, if one attributes motive or agenda to intentional parenting at all.
Posted 01 Sep 2007 at 1:40 am ¶
Heza Hekele wrote:
I would have to say the religious element bothers me more than the interacial issue. White parents adopt kids of all backgrounds. How it would bother someone who sees a white kid with a non-white parent is beyond me…I wish there was more of it actually.
While adoption is not a cure for racism, (just as “saving a child” should not be your reason for adopting either), it is interesting to see how quickly people get their backs up against a wall over such statements. And, such resulting conversations cause all involved to question their own views and open up their minds a bit.
Diversity, within a country, community or family, is an important step towards eliminating racism, in my opinion…but I am living outside of the U.S. and find that the country I live in is just plain old intolerant of intolerance in general. Perhaps I have taken that for granted in my life and my childs…
Adoption, in general, is a beautiful thing. My family history has many twists and turns in it that include adoption. The main point is, in my opinion, that children deserve families, and where there are willing, capable, open minded, sane & loving parents wanting to be parents to (a) child(ren) that are without a safe and loving home and family, race is perhaps the least important issue. There are good parents and crappy parents out there…regardless of how they became parents, via biological means or adoption. How a parent handles the subject of race and racism, as it arrises, makes a huge impact on how the child handles such subjects. Being able to handle such issues with intelligence, grace, acceptance and an open mind is perhaps one of the most important things to parents who do adopt interracially and the children they are raising. Thus, a parent who handles such things in a crappy way, is the bigger issue in my eyes, not the fact that they may have adopted interracially in the first place.
Posted 04 Sep 2007 at 5:55 am ¶
Heza Hekele wrote:
In closing to my previous, somewhat long winded comment…
I am left wondering how the adoptive father could have handled the subjects that would have come up in his home… I don’t think being told that you were adopted “to cure your parent’s racism” would go over well with anyone… just as being adopted “for the color of your skin” would not leave an adoptee feeling too warm and fuzzy either!
Posted 04 Sep 2007 at 6:14 am ¶
Elise wrote:
I don’t think that resolving one’s own issues with racism is a great reason to adopt transracially, but on the other hand I don’t think it’s any worse than the reason most people give birth. All parents (birth & adoptive) become parents to address some personal desire or need. Whether that need is altruism, love of family or something less palatable like addressing issues from one’s own less than happy past, becoming a parent is about the parent, not the child-to-be. I think it’s easy to get hung up on motivation to adopt because it’s the only kind of family-building that society gets a say in. For someone to name their issue (racism) and to state publicly that they are working to address it? Sounds like a self-aware individual committed to change and thus probably a pretty good parent.
Posted 04 Sep 2007 at 10:20 am ¶
Jae Ran wrote:
I would not disagree that bio parents have children for all kinds of reasons, some of which others may judge them for. But adoption IS different, because the child has come from a situation where they were displaced from their first family. For me, it means I do hold adoptive parents to a higher standard, whether or not some think that’s unfair.
It’s not “fair” for any child to be used for any agenda other than that a person wants to parent. However, it is especially cruel for a child to have been pushed out or taken out of one family and then have that extra responsibility on one’s shoulders.
Posted 04 Sep 2007 at 4:28 pm ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Natasha Sky’s latest post about intrusive questions about her family had the following: “If you wouldn’t marry someone who is Black, Asian, Latino, African American, Haitian, Chinese, or Guatemalan (for example), then you certainly should not adopt a child with that ancestry either.”
That is SO relevant to this thread: if you can only successfully “deal” with people of a different ethnic/racial group when they are more vulnerable and under control (as in a parent-child relationship) but not in what is supposed to be an equal relationship (i.e. between adults), you probably AREN’T The best person to parent that child.
Posted 05 Sep 2007 at 10:49 am ¶
Shelley wrote:
I do not have adopted children and know many of you know more about that but I do think we all have predudices heaped on us from the world we live in and I applaud those who take the issues on deliberatly. I think we should examine the motives of all our choices, especially those where children are involved. Fundamentally I have no problem with what this man has done. He is growing and learning and loving and has a much better chance at changing the world through the choices he has made than those who spend most of their lives around only those that look like themselves. I believe trans-racial adoptions calls for wisdom regarding race issues and all families need much love, if he does that, he is doing more than most.
Posted 06 Sep 2007 at 7:46 pm ¶
Jules wrote:
Before I even looked the article I knew it was about a black person adopting a white child. White people have long had their own f’ed up reasons for transracially adopting (I know my parents did) but they never consciously articulated them, like Dollar. I don’t think he’s any different than any other person who transracially adopts with the notable exception that he is not trying to hide his reasons.
My own parents were (and probably still are, I don’t know I severed all ties two years ago when I started college.) do gooder white liberal types who clearly had all sorts of notions about what adopting a black girl was going to do for them in terms of getting the right amount of squares on the Liberal White Bingo Card.
My childhood was hell. It was life filled with lots of white people acting as though I wasn’t of color or making it the most important detail about me. My hair was a constant source of “struggle” and my parents were clueless as to how to “deal” with all the issues that aries from transracially adopting. I find it super offensive that white adoptive parents think they can either ask some black people or read a book and then they are suddenly “fit” to raise a black child.
At least in Dollar’s case his child would belong to the cultural supremacy and he probably wouldn’t have to read too many books on the subject.
And all these people who are criticizing Dollar’s reasons sound a lot like parents; IN DENIAL about their own complicated and generally f’ed up reasons for adopting.
Posted 22 Sep 2007 at 4:35 am ¶
Blanca Cuellar wrote:
People do what seems to them right. An alcholic goes to AA, someone who commits a crime is sent to prison etc. Creflo Dollar obeyed the voice of th Lord for his issue. The white child turned out great. What’s the problem besides someone being a hater. There is a law ” You reap what you sow “. Anyone who adopts a child for no other reason but love well pay the price. Let God deal with them.
Posted 26 Oct 2007 at 10:23 am ¶
Truth Speaks wrote:
He was honest.
Many who wrote this, can’t even openly admit their own hang ups (with race).
For people of color reading this, stop fronting, like there are not hang ups within your own families and your own ideology, about “shades”
within the African American race.
And let’s not forget the astigmatism that people of color have with “good hair???”
For Caucasians, reading this, please stop acting like you do not have hang up of being very fair, “NATURAL” blond, or of “good pedigree.” And let’s not forget that if a white person has 1/3 of “color” blood in them, their considered Black. They can’t even be considered of Mixed Race, but they MUST sway to being “African American.” Hence…. Halle Berry…. we could go on an on….
I hate it when people want to toot their noses up at someone for sharing something about themselves that “they themselves” were not too proud of.
Pick your own mirror back up.
Your reflection is waiting for some clarity.
Kudos Creflo.
I got a cat for the same reason.
And I love that little booger.
Posted 27 Sep 2008 at 12:46 am ¶