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1. this woman’s work » Links and a meme (more pics forthcoming) on 30 Jul 2007 at 9:36 am

   […] tagged by Anti-Racist Parent! The meme below the […]

2. Anti-Racist Parent Meme « We Four in Egypt on 31 Jul 2007 at 12:12 am

   […] · Filed under race issues, parenting Carmen at Anti-Racist Parent offered up the following meme, which I’ve edited here for your reading […]

3. Anti-Racist Parent Meme « Life goes on… and on… on 08 Aug 2007 at 12:34 pm

   […] by sackrosanct on August 8th, 2007 Check out Anti-Racist Parent for other people’s […]

4. I AM VISIBLE « Crafty Mommy on 31 Jan 2008 at 1:32 pm

   […] fill out a meme that Angelica’s Little Brother filled out a while back (originally from Anti-racist Parent). 1. I am: Chinese, French, Native American, Irish. My mom is Chinese, born and raised in Vietnam. […]

5. Anti-racist parent meme « Shanamadele’s Coffee Break on 08 Apr 2008 at 4:45 pm

   […] Uncategorized and tagged: anti-racism, yiddishkeit Carmen at Anti-Racist Parent offered up this meme.� So, here’s my version, for your […]

Comments

1. Krystal wrote:

   I just found this site, and I am soooo glad!!!

   1. I am: White
   2. My kids are: Gorgeous, funny, and oh, so sweet! 3 Guatemalan sons and 1 bio daughter
   3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when: I adopted my son.
   4. People think my name is: Last name, Irish.
   5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is: Laughter is the appropriate response to all situations!
   6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is: Extreme competitiveness
   7. My child’s first word in English was: The 2 at home are not speaking yet. I don’t know about the 2 on the way.
   8. My child’s first non-English word was: See #7.
   9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is: Mijo
   10. One thing I love about being a parent is: seeing my children smile
   11. One thing I hate about being a parent is: Seeing my children in pain.
   12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means: Being committed to not let hate and racism perpetuate into another generation.

   Posted 30 Jul 2007 at 1:00 am ¶

2. Lyonside wrote:

   Ooh, this is a FUN meme!

   1. I am:
   Biracial, African-American and African-Bermudan father, Irish-German-French-American mom. There’s some English in the Bermudan too.

   2. My kids are:
   1 munchkin, who is all of #1 and Puerto Rican. I’m identifying her as multiracial/multiethnic for now, and she can choose her own label (or none) later.

   Several years from now, we’re planning on more children, either biological or via adoption.

   3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when:
   I was 3. I was the only visible minority in my preschool class for 3 years. I didn’t have a visible minority in my daily classes until 4th grade. I was forced to think about it, because in 1980 in my overwhelmingly white, private school, if you weren’t easily categorized as white, black, or Japanese (don’t know why the kids hit on that one Asian ethnicity, and Latinos were off the radar), you HAD to be questioned on a daily basis.

   My mother taught me to call myself biracial. Great, but that meant nothing to the under-10 set. I learned that giving them countries instead of races created enough of a distraction to get the heck out of dodge.

   4. People think my name is:
   Hard to spell, and what’s a hyphen? Actually, I had one world-traveling senior citizen see my name and ask, “Lyons and Joell - is your family French and English?” No, but we were owned by the French and the English once, so good guess! Lyons is Irish, but the name probably goes back to when France took over parts of Ireland from Britain during one of the big wars. Joell is English, but really uncommon in the US. In fact, pretty much every Joell in the US mainland, if not recently from England, is related to my Bermudan great-grandfather and his American brood of 10 kids.

   5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
   Compassionate practicality. The women in my family (and some of the men) do what needs to be done when they need to do it, and the family survives to tell the tale, no matter what society or religion tells us to do.

   6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
   A certain flair for packrat behavior and organized chaos. We tend to be collectors, pilers, and savers of weird stuff. Now if we could only be the same way about money…

   7. My child’s first word in English was:
   We’re working on it… She’s only 5 months old.

   8. My child’s first non-English word was:
   Does baby babble count if it means something in another language? Her first vowel-consonent combo was “A-ba,” which freaked me out (Aba = Abba = Father in Aramaic and a root in Semitic languages (Abbas in Arabic, etc.))

   9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
   Misha mishanna (Have NO idea how it’s spelled). It’s Yiddish for a little this, a little that, I’m told, and my mom’s family uses it to mean puttering, usually to answer, “What did you do today?” My grandmother was the only Catholic family in a Jewish neighborhood during the Depression - all the kids ate at everyone else’s houses (sort of a “you feed my kid Monday, I’ll likely feed yours Wednesday” approach), and she picked up a love of gifilte fish and a smattering of Yiddish. My family still eats matzoh throughout most of Lent, and I used to take it to school in my lunchbox.

   10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
   Seeing her discover how the world works, watching her mind grow, seeing how she responds to the world and the people in it.

   11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
   How disorganized I feel, how apprehensive I feel about preparing her for the world (love ISN’T enough), how much my mind races now trying to protect her from things I can’t control.

   12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:
   Being aware of how our society, local, national, and global, works. Actively working to solve problems as I see them. Not retreating into a bubble of isolation, protection, or convenient half-truths, as none of that will ultimately help my daughter or my family. Constantly evaluating not only other people, but my own prejudices and assumptions.

   Posted 30 Jul 2007 at 6:52 am ¶

3. Natasha wrote:

   Here goes . . .

   1. I am . . . Multiracial: European American and Native American (Irish, German, Cherokee, English, French, and more).

   2. My kids are . . . Wild! I have 4 kids: daughter (5), son (4), daughter (3), daughter (18m). Oldest and youngest 2 kids joined our family through open domestic adoption, and both have African American and European American heritage; middle 2 kids joined our family through homebirth and have heritage from (1) above plus Scottish, Jewish, and more from my partner’s side of the family.

   3. I started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when . . . Many phases. Was always aware of race and culture b/c of childhood friends (Black American, Indian, Indonesian, Korean, Jamaican). Racial identity came more when I was in college and found out we were also Cherokee. Culture again when I lived in Southern Texas on the Mexican border on and off for a couple years. Race more when we had our first child, and became a *visibly* multiracial family.

   4. People think my name is . . . Russian (Natasha) and Native American (Sky).

   5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is . . . love for reading and books.

   6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is . . . secrecy.

   7. My children’s first words in English were . . . ‘Dada’ and ‘Mama’, and (of course) ‘no’.

   8. My children’s first non-English words were . . . ‘gracias’ (alternately “grassy-ass” and “glah-see-us”) and ‘boca’, (’thank you’ and ‘mouth’ in Spanish).

   9. The non-English word/phrase used most in my home is . . . ‘Vamanos’ (”Let’s go” in Spanish).

   10. One thing I love about being a parent is . . . Watching my brilliant, talented, gorgeous, unique children grow and learn and change.

   11. One thing I hate about being a parent is . . . The constant worry in the back of my head if I’m doing the absolute best I can as a mother.

   12. To me being an anti-racist parent means . . . Educating myself, my children, our families, friends, and communities about multiracial families, multiracial people, race, racism, White Privilege, and *real*/complete U.S. history. Actively working against institutionalized and aversive racism, wherever it is hiding. Working to make the world a better place for my family and my children to grow.

   Posted 30 Jul 2007 at 10:10 am ¶

4. daddyinastrangeland wrote:

   Glad we could inspire you. Hey, since you got this idea from me/us, does that count as a column? Just kidding, just kidding! I’ll get mine up on my blog asap (and something to you for here asap)…

   Posted 30 Jul 2007 at 10:41 am ¶

5. Dawn wrote:

   I have never done this before but I figure why not?

   1. I am:
   Black/African American (I am old enough to have used them interchangeably) with the usual admixture of Native American 12% and Caucasian 9%. DNA testing is cool.

   2. My kid is:
   Ethiopian. Sidama specifically.

   3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when: I cannot recall when I did not think about race, culture and identity. I has always been at the forefront of my mind.

   4. People think my name is:
   Pretty basic. My mother clearly wanted me to get past the resume phase of the hiring process. My married name is often inadvertently changed to Smith. I am quick to correct.

   5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
   Achievement.

   6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
   Not sure.

   7. My child’s first word in English was:
   No

   8. My child’s first non-English word was:
   Not sure.

   9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
   Shent a bet? Amharic for “Do you have to go to the bathroom?” I adopted a toddler.

   10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
   Our son’s ability to laugh at the silliest things.

   11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
   Not being able to protect my son from all pain. I have to put that in God’s hands.

   12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:
   Being ever mindful that I must have my son’s best interests at heart, never assuming others will and speaking up on his behalf until he is able to speak up for himself.

   Posted 30 Jul 2007 at 11:29 am ¶

6. egypt4 wrote:

   Here’s mine on my brand new blog:
   http://egypt4.wordpress.com/2007/07/31/anti-racist-parent-meme/

   Posted 31 Jul 2007 at 12:13 am ¶

7. cloudscome wrote:

   My post is up at Sandy Cove Trail. It’s great to read about everyone else. Wonderful idea Carmen!

   Posted 31 Jul 2007 at 5:07 am ¶

8. shanamadele wrote:

   Thanks for the meme! My responses are http://shanamadele.livejournal.com/118601.html

   Posted 31 Jul 2007 at 1:07 pm ¶

9. HeatherS wrote:

   This is a great meme! Here are my responses: http://unproductivereproduction.blogspot.com/2007/07/arp-meme.html

   Posted 31 Jul 2007 at 7:12 pm ¶

10. Vera L wrote:

    A bit late, but here I am!

    1. I am:
    African American. Subset: New Orleans Creole, of black, French, white American & native American ancestry. A veteran of many, many years of “What are you, anyway?” As a matter of fact, I just got that question last week.

    2. My kids are:
    9 and 7 year old African American boys. My partner and I adopted them at birth.

    3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when:
    When have I NOT thought about race, identity and culture! Because of my “ambiguous” appearance, questions of race and identity have been front and center ever since I started making friends as a little girl. The only time it wasn’t a huge issue for me was the few years my family actually lived in New Orleans, and there were enough other kids who looked like me that everyone knew which box I was supposed to fit into. I started thinking about race, identity and culture as issues that went beyond my personal experience when I was a young adult.

    4. People think my name is:
    Ordinary. I never get any reactions to it.

    5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
    A certain hedonism endemic to Creole culture, along with a deep commitment to family.

    6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
    Being “color-struck”.

    7. My child’s first word in English was:
    OK, I confess. I can’t bring it to mind. I’d have to look up. And I’m not sure I even wrote it down for my younger son (cringe – bad mama!).

    8. My child’s first non-English word was:
    Hmmm. Our home is monolingual English-speaking. But my boys both learned “gung hay fat choy” at the lunar new year celebration their elementary school holds each year. And they remember it, even when it isn’t the New Year.

    9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
    “Vamanos.” It means “let’s go” in Spanish. I learned Spanish in school (I’m a functional Spanish speaker, with very stilted but serviceable language), and for some reason, I’ve decided that that’s a great phrase to use with my kids. They hear it all the time. For all I know, they think it’s an English word. I should ask them . . . .

    10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
    Watching my sons as they grow and develop into individual human beings. I love trying to figure out who they are, and speculating about who they will become.

    11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
    Refereeing endless disputes. “But I wanted the blue plate! It’s not fair!!!!”

    12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means: talking to my kids about race, helping them understand so they will know that the racism they encounter isn’t about them as individuals, it’s about something much bigger. Talking to others about racism, writing about it, to drag it out into the light, to call out everyday racism and insist that we shouldn’t accept it as “normal”.

    Posted 31 Jul 2007 at 8:01 pm ¶

11. Maegan la Mala wrote:

    Late to the fiesta as always but here

    1. I am:
    Nuyorican. Puerto Rican: My parents were born on the isle of encanto and came here while still young. I was born on the isle of long.

    2. My kids are:
    la MapucheRican - age almost 10 half Nuyorican half Chilean indigenous Mapuche. la Porotita - 6 months half NYRican half Chilena

    3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when: As a young child. It was made very clear by my family that being a light skinned Rican with hazel eyes meant I could do this magical thing called pass . In high school I realized that wasn’t gonna fly and I began to become more of an activist

    4. People think my name is: My first name is Irish with a funky spelling so they think I’m half Irish. My last name is the dead giveaway that I’m Rican.

    5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
    Strong female leadership!

    6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
    Obsession with fine features and mejorando la raza.

    7. My child’s first word in English was:
    Well my 6 month old hasn’t told me yet but my 10 year old’s first sentence (no lie) was “No Justice, No Peace!.

    8. My child’s first non-English word was:
    leche

    9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
    Carajo! It’s a good generic curse good for arguing or when you stub your toe.

    10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
    I love watching the chicas discover new things and being able to teach them new things. I’m proud that especially with my 10 year old, she’ll ask/tell me anything!

    11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
    Parenting is a time suck especially when you work from home and you can’t afford a sitter. I would kill for an hour a day of uninterrupted time (that or to be able to use the bathroom alone)

    12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:
    Modeling actions for change and not censoring when real racism is dealt to us.

    Posted 01 Aug 2007 at 2:01 pm ¶

12. Ansley wrote:

    1. I am:
    Irish, Scottish, German and Native American. My father’s family were poor, alcoholic Irish folks living in Lake Erie. My mother is the Scotch-German, Native American. Her dad identifies with his Native American ancestry more than his Scottish ancestry. My grandmother is German through and through (maiden name ‘Karsch’), right down to the obsession with all fermented cabbage dishes. I would say I identify most with my father’s Irish culture (his culture was more inportant to him, than my mm’s was to her), and the Mexican American culture I grew up in while living in Southern California. As my husband always jokes about me, “Irish I were Latina”! My mother often laments the fact she feels she has no cultural identity.

    2. My kids are:
    My son is a Korean-American transracial adoptee. He is 9 months old.

    3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when:
    I started working in Law Enforcement in 1994. It was a huge wake up call to see how different races in the community I worked in were treated differently. I can still remember the profound feelings of anger, sadness and confusion when I responded to my first call of ‘hate crime’. I got a second ‘wake up call’ when I moved to Oregon in 1999 and realized just how much I missed the racial diversity of Southern California. I didn’t truly begin to deeply explore racism and and all that goes with the subject until my husband and I decided to transracially adopt.

    4. People think my name is:
    I think people are completely confused by my name. They usually mispronounce my first name, than tell me how pretty it is. When they ask where it came from and I start to tell them; their eyes glaze over the way people do when they ask how one is, but don’t really care about the answer. People also mispronounce my last name, or complain about how long it is (hyphenated). No one ever asks where my last name came from, though.

    5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
    A deep spirituality.

    6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
    Poor eating and exercise habits.

    7. My child’s first word in English was:
    Hi! He’s not really verbal yet.

    8. My child’s first non-English word was: ?

    9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
    Aye schwoon a da! “It feels so good” in Korean. We say this to our baby often. We also have several Spanish phrases for things we never say in English. Like “Daimez los llavez” (give me the keys) and “Ahorita” (do it now).

    10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
    Watching our son discover the world around him.

    11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
    Worrying about the future.

    12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:
    Constantly challenging myself- Trying to become the best role model I can be for my child, my family, my friends and everyone I come to influence. Like Jesus said, “If you aren’t for me, you are against me”. If you aren’t antiracist, well then…

    Posted 01 Aug 2007 at 3:11 pm ¶

13. Meera Bowman-Johnson wrote:

    I am: Black. African American according to my 11 year old nephew. “Colored” according to my great grandmother.

    2. My kids are black, with European blood on both sides. My husband is 1/2 Black and 1/2 Irish. There’s some Native American on both sides, too.

    3. I first started thinking about race at age five, when my brother, who’s brown-skinned, called me “yellow”. I cried.

    4. People think my first name is Hindu or Arabic and my maiden name is Jewish. I’m sure I’ve stumped many with my resume.

    5. The family tradition I want to pass on most is an appreciation of the arts.

    6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is a tendency to buy birthday cakes from the supermarket and pretend they’re actually good.

    7. All three of my kids’ first words was “Mama” (sorry, Daddy!).

    8. My child’s first non English word was “Hola!” (thanks, Dora!)

    9. Hola.

    10. One thing I love about being a parent is the incomparable, unconditional love we have for eachother.

    11. One thing I hate about being a parent is the fact that I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in five years.

    12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means raising my three kids with a healthy amount of self-esteem and an equally healthy amount of respect for others, regardless of difference.

    Posted 02 Aug 2007 at 10:38 pm ¶

14. Kay wrote:

    I put my answers over at my blog - can’t figure out how to do trackback on this blog.

    Posted 03 Aug 2007 at 12:32 am ¶

15. Gillian wrote:

    1. I am:
    A Sino-English Brit - the former for the contributions to my genes and cultures, the latter for my passport.

    2. My kids are:
    When my daughter is old enough to have figured it put (I hope she takes less time than me), she will tell you this herself. I think of her as being sino-franco-anglo-canadian.

    3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when:
    I honestly don’t know because I have had several moments of “awakening”, and each time I think to myself that before, I wasn’t conscious of anything at all. I suppose that I can honestly say that there has no longer been any denial since just before my daughter arrived in my life - I was 34 years old.

    4. People think my name is:
    Always something different than it is. Mostly I shrug it off, but I ALWAYS make sure I NEVER mangle someone else’s name.

    5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
    Respect for others’ differences, respect for authority, and that respect needs to be earned.

    6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
    That non-academic achievements are not achievements. I want my daughter to have an appreciation of the arts in a participative and non-competitive way. Excellenc is not everything - balance is of paramount importance.

    7. My child’s first word in English was:
    When you do have kids, Carmen, you’ll realise that “word” has a very elastic interpretation! I suppose my daughter’s first real word in English was “book”, pronounced “bu”, but she already had another 15 words in French that were definitely the names of objects (”pantalon” for pants, was pronounced “teulah”, for example). And what of the dozen signs she made up on her own, but which were definitely a language?

    8. My child’s first non-English word was:
    “miam miam” - yummy.

    9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
    Now there you go assuming that everyone reading ARP lives in a predominantly English-speaking home! ;-P Privilege comes in so many forms, eh? My home is a predominantly French-speaking one, though we are bilingual, and we speak some Mandarin. The most used phrase in my home is “I love you”, in all three languages.

    10. One thing I love about being a parent is:
    My child does something that makes me laugh every day.

    11. One thing I hate about being a parent is:
    Always having to think about how every little thing will affect my child - it’s so tiring!

    12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means:
    Speaking up - to others: correcting, educating, informing; to my daughter: educating, explaining, talking things through; and to myself: thinking, learning, talking with others.

    Posted 03 Aug 2007 at 12:27 pm ¶

16. Carmen Van Kerckhove wrote:

    > Now there you go assuming that everyone reading ARP lives in a predominantly English-speaking home! ;-P Privilege comes in so many forms, eh?

    LOL good point. Touche!

    Posted 03 Aug 2007 at 1:58 pm ¶

17. MichelleL wrote:

    http://anotherplanet-michelle.blogspot.com/2007/08/anti-racist-parent-meme.html

    Here’s mine!

    Posted 03 Aug 2007 at 3:48 pm ¶

18. honglien123 wrote:

    I finally posted mine here.

    Posted 04 Aug 2007 at 4:02 pm ¶

19. Margie wrote:

    My response is here:

    http://thirdmom.blogspot.com/2007/08/anti-racist-meme.html

    Posted 06 Aug 2007 at 1:03 pm ¶

20. Diane wrote:

    http://myboys.wordpress.com/2007/08/08/anti-racist-parent-meme/

    See mine at the link.

    Posted 08 Aug 2007 at 12:39 pm ¶

21. Laura wrote:

    1. I am: Welsh, Scottish, English and African American
    2. My kids are: Not yet home, adopting from Ethiopia.
    3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when my mother found out more about her African American heritage, and we started our adoption.
    4. People think my name is: English.
    5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is: Time together being important, laughter, love of world travel
    6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is: competitiveness
    7. My child’s first word in English was: No children home yet.
    8. My child’s first non-English word was: No children home yet.
    9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is: Je t’aime
    10. One thing I love about being a parent is: Still waiting to be a parent.
    11. One thing I hate about being a parent is: N/A
    12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means: Committing that love will dictate our family, not ignorance. Exploring the world and world cultures with my children, respect and confidence in ourselves.

    Posted 08 Aug 2007 at 2:55 pm ¶

22. Mayhem wrote:

    I’m going to have to read back through all the comments to see other people’s answers. Very interesting!

    Here’s mine:
    http://mayhemandmagic.typepad.com

    Posted 11 Aug 2007 at 1:53 am ¶

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