Soul food for the next generation
by Anti-Racist Parent columnist Meera Bowman Johnson
I’m a Northern black woman who grew up in a family whose idea of a traditional meal was spaghetti with meat sauce. No soul food savvy matriarchs have graced either side of my family tree since the great migration. So when my own kids were born, I was determined to raise them as part of a clan that ate traditional African American food throughout the year, not just on holidays.
The exploration of my culinary heritage began with a simple weeknight dinner of collard greens, yams and black-eyed peas. I was feeling rather pleased with myself when my four year old appeared at the kitchen door.
“Mommy? What is that…smell?” she stood in the doorway frozen, face shielded by her sleeves.
“Black eyed peas, honey. Mommy’s making black eyed peas tonight.”
She clamped her angelic face tighter. “They smell horrible.”
My husband glanced up from his computer. “It’s black people food, honey.”
Did we really want her to associate our culture with what she described as “a horrible smell?” I tried not to roll my eyes and began setting the table. “It’s what we’re having for dinner tonight.”
The meal got off to a good start until we asked her to actually start eating. There were tears, followed by threats of timeout. There was squealing, followed by threats of slightly more severe forms of punishment. In between plea bargains, my husband helped himself to seconds and I fought back tears of frustration. My fifteen month old twins sat contentedly in their highchairs, licking fingers and smacking lips at the first taste of their culinary birthright. How could my eldest child possibly grow into a strong African American woman without ever having tasted black eyed peas? I was nauseated the mere thought of my firstborn daughter making a quicker mental association with
BEP’s Fergie than the cuisine of her very own culture.
Maybe I just needed to accept the fact that my child had a somewhat eclectic, international palate. After all, she tried risotto at nine months and enjoyed it. Other international foods like hummus and (cooked) sushi are regular requests. At least she was an equal-opportunity eater. I picked up the dish she’d just poked at, the black eyed peas stared back at me forlornly. It burned me up that if those poor legumes had been edamame, she probably would have cleaned her plate.
It wasn’t until my beloved was in bed for the night that I stepped down off my pedestal and realized where I might be falling short. Even broken down to a preschooler’s level, there was really no clear reason why an African American four year old should be obligated to eat black eyed peas (aside from nutritional value). If slaves were forced to eat what we now know as soul food because they just didn’t have another choice, does that mean their free descendants should have to? Grown-ups do it all the time. Nobody (at least nobody I know) starts salivating at the thought of boiled pigs’ feet. But sweet potato pie is a whole different story altogether. And I’m the first one to turn my nose up at chitterlings before taking a second helping of baked macaroni.
Maybe it’s time I let her celebrate the right to pick and choose from the rich diversity within our cultural palate. Maybe it’s less about the food, than our freedom.
Meera Bowman Johnson is a freelance writer and full time mom who is also the former Associate Art Director of Essence Magazine. Her work has been featured in HealthQuest: The Publication of Black Wellness, Code: The Style Magazine for Men of Color, Black Issues Book Review, Mommy Too! Magazine and Honey. She lives with her husband, Mat Johnson, and their three children in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. Her online alter ego, Mrs. J, blogs about race, pop-culture and parenting.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
Gunfighter wrote:
I am pleased about the conclusion that the author makes about not having to eat certain things to embrace our history.
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 10:49 am ¶
Lyonside wrote:
True… but food is an element of culture (just not the only one), whether you eat it or just know how it originated/is prepared. Food, family recipes, etc. are also the thing that tends to get passed on when other parts of culture or subculture get lost. And food can be a bridge by which other cultures are first exposed to the culture or subculture (although often enough, it stops there, with no real understanding).
But yeah, it’s not essential. That said, I’d say that I eat a thousand things now that I wouldn’t have touched as a 4 year old. I’d hope the author keeps the options open, and keeps exposing her family to different foods. Chances oare, they’ll surprise you.
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 10:54 am ¶
kim wrote:
Alas, my cooking is horrible.
The one thing I can make that is edible is collards and rice.
The funny thing (funny to me, in that poetic way, anyhow) is that my afroed kid WILL NOT TOUCH anything even tangentially related to “soul food,” while my two little ones, to my delight and dismay, will sit on the floor with the near-empty pot between their legs wiping the insides clean with a swirl and swipe of their bowed pointer fingers.
If I could get those darned minstrel images out of my head, I’d take a picture, but, alas….
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 4:09 pm ¶
Miss Cellania wrote:
I don’t think there’s much rhyme or reason for what kids will or won’t eat. I have one who will eat sardines in mustard sauce right out of the can, but accused me of poisoning her when I gave her eggnog. And her sister is the picky one!
But kids’ tastes change as they mature. Your daughter might love blackeyed peas as an adult. As I do! With ketchup!
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 9:29 pm ¶
Kim wrote:
“…sardines in mustard sauce….”
My mother would love to see this thread.
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 11:23 pm ¶
CScarlet wrote:
My mother accused my brother and I of being “bad Southern kids” for not liking collards and beans. She and my grandmother would make a heaping pot of the former and a pan of cornbread for themselves- my brother and I would take the cornbread and eat cereal!
As an adult, I like the beans, but still can’t take the texture of the collards. And they do have a powerful, distinct smell. Her tastes will probably change- as a kid, I inhaled fish sticks, but the thought now makes me want to vomit. It was the opposite with onions, which I now love, but hated as a kid. She might eat them as an adult and laugh about this incident, and think of you
Miss Cellania- my grandfather always ate his beans with ketchup!
Posted 22 Feb 2007 at 12:45 am ¶
Kathy wrote:
Ah, food, my favorite subject. When I was growing up, I absolutely hated my mother’s
pot roast and Irish stew, and you know what?
I still do. My father, on the other hand, loved
to try different foods and I was his little
apprentice. I tried one of his hot peppers
once, and my lips got chapped. Still, we had
a lot of fun together and I think back to those times as happy memories.
A few years ago, some kids were teasing my
child and said that since she was Chinese
she must eat worms. Since that time, I have
really made an effort to try and introduce
lots of different kinds of foods. I have tried
to tell them that people eat all kinds of food
all over the world and that it doesn’t make it
bad, just different.
So, we might try alcapurrias, calamari,
fish balls, escargot, and I love oxtail soup.
Lamb samosa is a favorite of mine.
The main thing for me is that they don’t
have to like all things Chinese, just like
I don’t like all things Irish. But we can find
things that we all enjoy, and like others have
said here, tastes do change. I think the
willingness to expose them to different kinds
of foods while young is the most important
thing. When they grow up, they will at least
have a familiarity with a variety of textures
and flavors.
And Miss Cellania, thoughts of sardines
in mustard sauce brought back some
beautiful memories. Did you ever try
shad roe with fried eggs?
Posted 22 Feb 2007 at 3:56 pm ¶
Michelle wrote:
Loved this post! So much to talk about, but for me this echoes my own insecurites of what aspects of my cultural heritage I can or cannot pass on to future generations. My family will not share many traditional Filipino foods and festivals because we are culturally mixed and more American but we should still be able to embrace this broader definition of what it means to have Filipino, Japanese and Eastern European ancestry.
Posted 22 Feb 2007 at 7:08 pm ¶