Need your help: What’s your best tip for anti-racist parenting?
by Carmen Van Kerckhove
What’s your best tip for anti-racist parenting?
I’m putting together a free e-book called How to Be an Anti-Racist Parent: Real-Life Parents Share Real-Life Tips that will be made available to everyone who visits this blog.
May I get a tip (or several, even!) from you? Here are some possible topics to get you thinking:
- What books, activities or toys do you recommend for children?
- How do you handle awkward questions from strangers about your child?
- What books or videos/DVDs do you recommend for parents who want to educate themselves about racism?
- How do you instill a good sense of self-esteem in your child?
- How do you work with teachers to create the best possible learning environment for your child?
- How do you teach children about racism in an age-appropriate way?
- or anything else you’d like to share…
Let other parents benefit from what you’ve learned by sharing your tips, stories and recommendations with us!
Here’s how to do it:
Email your submissions to team@antiracistparent.com, and be sure to do the following:
- Write “parenting tips” in the subject line
- Specify what name you’d like us to use, or if you’d like it to be anonymous
- Include a URL to your blog or web site, if you’d like
- Keep each tip, story or recommendation to 500 words or less
If chosen, your tip — in your own words — will be published in the e-book next month. It will be made available to everyone who visits this blog.
The deadline for submissions is 5 pm Eastern, February 28, 2007.
Thanks so much!
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
Tim wrote:
The ONLY tip you need for raising a non-racist child is to be a non-racist parent. Children learn from their parents (whether the parents like it or not). Then all you have to do is spend time with your child (novel concept, huh?) If you need anything further or more specific, you can write to Sara, at http://www.parentingwithsara.com. She’s writes a semi-weekly column. Tim
Posted 17 Feb 2007 at 9:06 pm ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Tim - you’re serious? In case you are, I think that’s a ll a given, but I suspect we’re looking for more specifics here… many parents have good intentions, but are faced with situations they’ve never encountered, particularly (but not exclusively) if they are a different ethnicity/identity than their children.
It’s one thing to confront and adapt to racially charged situtations if you’re already atune to such things and are able to speak up and take action. It’s another thing if your personality tends to avoid confrontation with authority, or if your life experience just doesn’t prepare you to identify problems or bias immediately.
Posted 18 Feb 2007 at 8:39 am ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Tim: I also don’t see anything on your “parenting with sara” site that has jack to do with ARP… or anything that I couldn’t find on babycenter.com - is this just site-pimping, or am I missing something?
Posted 18 Feb 2007 at 10:57 am ¶
Tim wrote:
Lyonside, I am absolutely serious and what I wrote is absolutely correct (and yes it is a bit of pimping).
A child’s focus for the first 12 years of their life (until they start to discover the opposite sex), is entirely on their parents. If you are racist your child will learn that from you. They have no other direct role models, and you can’t hide what you are and what they see every day.
Children are programmed by a million years of evolution and instinct to learn how to survive by emulating their parents. If the parents have a bad attitude, then the children will pick up on the attitude. Doesn’t matter what you try to “teach” them, its what you are that counts.
That said, it is still possible for a child to learn prejudice (prejudice doesn’t always mean racism, there are many prejudices). If they see certain behavior from certain groups of people, they will come to expect that behavior from that group. That is a byproduct of higher level (inductive) reasoning.
Conclusion, it is possible to have a racist child from a non-racist parent, but it is exceedingly difficult to get a non-racist child from a racist parent.
If you have a specific scenario, then is the time to write to Sara at http://www.parentingwithsara.com. She was a family specialist in Louisville for quite a while and is very wise in such situations.
Posted 19 Feb 2007 at 10:24 pm ¶
Tim wrote:
Lyonside, by the way, be careful when you “confront racially charged situations” that you recognize those situations for what they are. Many of them have less to do with racial division than with economic division. Labeling something a “racially charged situation” sometimes brings it about where it didn’t exist before.
Just read an interesting book on the history of race relations, “Black Rednecks and White Liberals” by Thoms Sowell. Dispels a great many myths. chrs, tk
Posted 19 Feb 2007 at 10:33 pm ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Tim: Race relations in the US (and elsewhere) are often unable to be divorced from socioeconomic divisions. Also, while socioeconomic effects can be a main factor of one group having issues w/ another, it’s often ethnicity that gets blamed as a cause or used as a weapon or used to identify. To say, “oh, it’s socioeconomic, not racial” is disingenous.
Example: a black woman answering the door in an upper class neighborhood gets mistaken as the housekeeper (true story). Did the visitor, in that first 2 seconds of looking through the open door, really look at, say, the length of her nails, cut of her hair, brand of her clothes to suss out her socioeconomic status? Maybe the style of shoe? Or did they just go by her skin color and facial features and assume that she didn’t belong?
I have enough life experience to have a fairly well-tuned race-radar, so at this stage in my life, I don’t need to be “careful,” thanks. I’m well aware that race is not the sole source or reason for any of society’s problems and challenges, and I don’t cry “racism” lightly. But to ignore the possibility is just as bad. I intend to use that knowledge and awareness to defend myself and my family.
But it’s not all about defending either - I think you’re taking my use of the word “confrontation” to mean a fight or argument. It also can mean a challenge of the status quo. BTW, you’re also taking my first post out of context: my POINT is that some parents would NEED concrete examples, especially if they haven’t grown up dealing with ethnicity/racial conflicts and issues. Just saying, “Be antiracist and all will be well” is just not that helpful.
Personally, I fear much less a racial epithet on the street (rare and obvious and provokes immediate reaction) than the snide remark, subtle bias, or absolute cluelessness of people who want to pretend that ethnicity doesn’t matter or that they’re “colorblind.” Or even worse, I fear the inaction that comes when I’m trying to suss out the 5 different reasons why someone may say or do something that I perceive as personally offensive… say, being followed through a store - could be ageism, sexism, a bad day… or it could be racial profiling. It’s up to me to decide in a less than 30 seconds how to handle it. And for some people, that’s a very long 30 seconds…. hence the need for some tips? Get it now?
Posted 19 Feb 2007 at 11:51 pm ¶
Denise wrote:
Lyonside - my POINT is that some parents would NEED concrete examples, especially if they haven’t grown up dealing with ethnicity/racial conflicts and issues. Just saying, “Be antiracist and all will be well” is just not that helpful.
This is a great point, and a big reason I am happy I found this website. Children also need concrete examples to drive home what they learn from their parents. I thought I was a good anti-racist parent to 6 bio kids, until I brought home our son from Haiti last year. It’s amazing how much wider my eyes are open, and thus the eyes of my children. We live in a pretty diverse town, which helps, but I can’t imagine how well I could teach them these lessons living in a predominately white area.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 8:49 am ¶
Denise wrote:
I just want to clarify quickly…. I am not sayig that you can’t teach these lessons in a non-diverse town… I am just saying that I am thankful for those concrete examples.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 8:52 am ¶
Kim wrote:
Life has shown me that a philosophy not put into practice results in an untested faith. And often, when one is called upon to have the courage to live up to one’s convictions, one fails, and has to step back and re-evaluate how and why that has happened.
This is where the philosophy, as a guiding priinciple, challenges the new entrant to the field of diversity. This is where the philosophical principles on which one has cut one’s teeth may be the one determinant that allows for the re-examination:
Does one do what is comfortable, and remain silent in the face of someone else’s bigotry, or a systemic bigotry, or does one step out on a limb, firmly rooted in the philosophy (no practice) of brotherly love, and …touch the hand, drink from a glass without bleaching it, smile and say good morning, say ‘enough’?
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 12:07 pm ¶
Nicole wrote:
Having anti-racist parents is extremely important, and I think my parents did a wonderful job given our pretty homogenious environment where we grew up, but I think living in a diverse environment goes a long way and is important even if (or especially if perhaps) you are a white parent of a white kid as I am. My parents actually moved to a very diverse city after we graduated from HS (turns out they’d only picked that place for the school), dispelling any myths some ex-relatives had that they were all talk when it came to their acceptance of people (I was a bit annoyed to find out I would not have been as accepted into the family had I not been Jewish and was getting a bit on my high horse). I’m trying to make sure my kids have friends from all backgrounds, races, etc. and realize, from this site and other readings, that being “colorblind” is not the answer, if that makes sense.
Looking forward to tips.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 2:29 pm ¶
Tim (another Tim) wrote:
Tim:
Being a non-racist parent helps, but it’s not the end-all solution to raising an non-racist child. There are many situations that a child will face where the parents can’t help by “Leading by example.” To name a few situations:
-When the child is at school and observing racist behaviors from students or teachers, the parent isn’t around to teach what is right or wrong.
-Transracial adopted and mixed race children face an entirely different set of circumstances than their parents due to the fact that people are treated differently based on their race in this country.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 2:40 pm ¶
Nina wrote:
Parents need to teach their chidlren, in a concrete way, how to deal with racism just as they need to teach them how to deal with a would be child molester, an abusive partner, a school bully etc. Racism is unfortunatley a real evil in this world and cannot be dealt with in such a laissez-faire fashion as the first Tim suggests.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 3:58 pm ¶
Tim wrote:
Lyonside, perfect example, quote from you
“Example: a black woman answering the door in an upper class neighborhood gets mistaken as the housekeeper (true story). Did the visitor, in that first 2 seconds of looking through the open door, really look at, say, the length of her nails, cut of her hair, brand of her clothes to suss out her socioeconomic status? Maybe the style of shoe? Or did they just go by her skin color and facial features and assume that she didn’t belong? ”
Here is exactly the situation that I was talking about. You immediately assume that race is the issue. How about the other possible explanations. Could it be that the owner’s fashion sense wasn’t up to snuff and that she kind of looked like a maid (or the caller’s fashion sense so stunted that he/she didn’t know the difference?). Or could it be that whoever the caller was, he had knocked on many doors in that neighborhood that most doors were opened by maids because it was the kind of neighborhood where everyone had one? Could be a combination of any of these factors and a lack of coffee in the caller, or end of day fatigue, yet you refuse to give the caller the benefit of the doubt.
You know a couple of months ago, I was in a department store and someone asked me if I worked there. I was a bit miffed because my economic station is well above that and I thought I looked the part. Doubt if it there was anything racist, about it though. Obviously someone’s perception was a bit off (hopefully hers…)
The point is, if you are ready to call a situation racist at the drop of a hat, that’s what your children will learn. Its what you are, not what you say.
You would be much better off teaching your children such qualities as leadership, diligence, and the value of education. Those are qualities that racism can’t touch.
Once again, “pimping” http://www.parentingwithsara.com, get good advice on particular pareting situations. Sara is very wise. chrs, tk
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 8:45 pm ¶
Tim wrote:
Other Tim, These are very good points. This is when good communication with your child is critical, that when your child comes across racist behavior that you are able to talk to them about it.
I still think, though, that if you established your own record of behavior in the early years, then your child will follow your example, and that you will be able to prevent counterexamples from taking hold.
I would think that children in transracial families would actually have an advantage, since (unless their relatives were absolute monsters) they would be accepted by both racial sides at an early age and have a strong emotional base. This is beyond my direct experience, though. Can you elaborate or provide examples? chrs, tk
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 9:02 pm ¶
Denise wrote:
Tim: You would be much better off teaching your children such qualities as leadership, diligence, and the value of education. Those are qualities that racism can’t touch.
I am only guessing here, but I would imagine that parents that have thought enough about their parenting to instill anti-racist values, would also be teaching these qualities as well. I know I try to.
And as far as raising a transracial child… simply because they are accepted by “both racial sides”(as you put it) in their own family, would not automatically keep them exempt from racism that they would encounter outside their family.
And please, could you hold off on all the site pimping. I find it fairly annoying in any regard, but I did peruse that site, and find absolutely no information on dealing with racism. I don’t believe that it is pertinent to this discussion or any other on anti-racist parent.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 9:22 pm ¶
Tim wrote:
Denise, please note that I use the term non-racist, not anti-racist.
To me anti-racist means that you are looking for racism trying to stomp it out. It could be interpreted by your child that there is a group of people called “racists” that are OK to hate (and will be interpreted this way, if you, yourself, believe this).
I look at the name of this site, and I interpret the term ‘anti-racist’ to be equivalent to the ‘parents: the anti-drug’ commercial, where the meaning is that parents are there for there children as the most important influence. I hope that’s the intention of the sponsors of the site. If not, then I should probably stop writing here, given what I’ve just said.
In my view, the non-racist parent provides the best example and a good base for the child, plus the communication channel for the child for when those situations arise.
If you want an anti-racist column on http://www.parentingwithsara.com, then you have to write an anti-racist question.
tk
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 9:56 pm ¶
Denise wrote:
Well, I don’t feel that I neccessarily look for racism, but I do agree that I’d like to stomp it out. And while I don’t hate any group of people, I do hate racism. And I am proud to be raising children that hate racism, and hope that they will grow up to stomp it out.
In my view, you can be “non-racist” but still not helping the problem. If you profess yourself to be non-racist, and use that as the only example you set for your children, while letting racism persist around you… what are you doing to help prevent racism?
You remind me a bit of that Dad on the reality show ‘Black.White.’ He insisted that most of what people saw as racism was in people’s heads… that they were “looking for it”. I thought Lyonside’s example of the woman at the door being mistaken for the maid was a good one. I guess if I really stretched my brain, I could come up with your alternative explanations, but they do seem a stretch to me. I don’t know many people who notice people’s outfits at the door, unless they are very unsual. I do know that people notice skin color immediately though.
My adopted son, who is black, was missing last summer, and we called the police. I gave them a photo of him in his Little League uniform, which he happened to be wearing that day, and told them that that was what he was wearing. An officer cruising through town called in to report that he saw a “young black child” downtown near our Boys and Girls club. This child was a good 4-5 inches taller than my son, visibly older, and wearing jeans and a t-shirt, not the Little League uniform the officer had been told my son was wearing. Am I safe to assume that this officer was only noticing skin color here, or do you have other possible explanations.
After becoming a multi-racial family through adoption, I must say that I was somwhat blind to racism before. I honestly think the only way to truly understand it is to live it. I am not saying you can’t make an effort, and I am glad places like this website exist for those of us who can’t truly experience it.
And really Tim… the more pimping of a website that is done, the less I want to visit that site.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 10:15 pm ¶
Denise wrote:
And now I’ll do my own site pimping LOL. This is what comes of parenting that promotes anti-racism…. my oldest, performing a song she wrote…
http://homepage.mac.com/fitzymommy/iMovieTheater38.html
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 10:43 pm ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Tim The First:
You seem to think that calling an action “racist” means that that person doing the racist action needs to be stomped? I said NOTHING like that. And even the most well-meaning people can be racist or make assumptions based on perceived race - that doesn’t make them bad people, or Klansmen, or Nation of Islam, or whatever. That’s not the ONLY way racism is demonstrated. Sorry the subtlety is lost on you, but “subtle” is where I live and you by your own admission do not.
I feel like I’m on a witness stand here and the defense attorney asks, “Wouldn’t it be POSSIBLE that the victim went to the door, saw my client, and in a fit of clumsiness, fell on his knife that he was using to cut open the package delivered by the door?” At which point I have to give my best “Are you for real?” look and say, “Well, anything is possible.”
Calling a spade a spade doesn’t mean that I hate gardeners. Calling out racial bias and actively working to do something about it doens’t mean I hate the people who may have the bias. It means I actually give a damn, thanks.
Posted 20 Feb 2007 at 11:16 pm ¶
Kim wrote:
Just don’t call the gardener a spade, please!
(Sorry)
Tim: You’ve got to be in it to win it. Get your feet wet, please.
I’ve answered the door P L E N T Y of times and had the eyes of mailcarriers, delivery and cargo carriers, as well as young environmentalists, do a complete mouth opened, eyebrow-raised-high, “ooh, excuse me, I’m sorry,” quick glance at the house number check to make sure they were at the right door, before composing themselves.
I ABSOLUTELY KNOW THEY HAVE BEEN SHOCKED TO SEE ME ANSWER, whether clad in a sarong, or jeans, or casual linen and clogs. One man even told me so, after a quick glance over HIS shoulder to make sure no one else could hear.
And it’s okay, I understood. Still, it is tiring. And you don’t always know, Tim, true.
But the person on the other side of that interchange does not always know they are “showing,” and it is tolerance on the person of color’s part that allows for a smooth exchange, when the other person is caught unawares.
Even when not looking for it, (and, really, who LOOKS for it in their daily, routine lives?) sometimes the assumptions and prejudices of others “show” as a powerplay - an intentional action. And the person of color is then caught unawares. But sometimes you…just…know.
Surely you are not so high on your sense of unilateral divestment from a system which privileges and protects so many (you?) , that you think the other adults in this forum have not considered, discussed, debated, digested, examined and dissected all the little scenarios and possible motivations and agendas you put forth?
This is the choir. And we are not in rehearsal.
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 1:46 am ¶
Tim wrote:
Denise, good talent there!
Lyonside, I believe my scenarios were much more likely than yours.
Kim, perhaps you are just way to gorgeous to be answering your own door. I have the opposite problem, I go into a bar, and you should see how the women look a me…
Besides, why do you care what the delivery man thinks?
More Later… http://www.parentingwithsara.com
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 2:35 pm ¶
kim wrote:
See there, Tim, my hackles are so easily lowered.
Yes, my class issues make it possible for me to dismiss delivery men with just a turn of my nose, all perky and up-turned, as it were.
Seriously though, I’ve had some doozies at being denied services, and have had state agencies and even my health insurance carrier initiate investigations after I complained. And I have openly cried in doctor’s offices after being … I don’t even know how to put it into words.
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 4:14 pm ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Tim: That’s amusing to me, seeing as I gave ONE scenario (with multiple interpretations, which I dismissed and you defended - could you possibly supply one of your own?)
The scenario is absolutely TRUE, was recently published in an article THIS YEAR, about a wealthy suburb of my city (the Main Line around Philadelphia). The article talked about a black homeowner discussing the reaction from a white man stopping by the house for whatever reason. The guy asked for the “woman of the house.” And had to noticeably double take and pause when she essentially said, “That’s me.”
So tell me, what’s more likely again? I’m not making this up off the top of my head. You can pretend all you want, but I’m pretty much sure that the gentleman was NOT looking to see if the homeowner’s clothes were Abercrombie or not. People just don’t WORK that way, man, unless they’re obsessed with fashion.
Here’s another scenario that I’ve experienced and heard again and again from other people: When my first cousins were small, my mother and I would take them out on the weekends. Even when I was the one calling my mother “mom,” and they were the ones saying “aunt,” I was often asked if I were the babysitter by total strangers. I was asked in a restaurant if I was with THEM (no, I just always grab the hand of the nearest toddler after talking to the grownup in order to score a seat quicker).
I am biracial and of ambiguous appearance (i.e. nonwhite looking, but that’s as far as people tend to get). My mother and cousins are white. Do you REALLY think people were looking at anything other than skin color?
If so, see, there’s this bridge…
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 5:25 pm ¶
Kim wrote:
Lyonside: I was asked in a restaurant if I was with THEM (no, I just always grab the hand of the nearest toddler after talking to the grownup in order to score a seat quicker).
Kim: Oh, Woman. If we hung out would we even need to speak in order to know what was going on with the other?
Posted 21 Feb 2007 at 11:41 pm ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Nah, Kim, I think we’d have a ball exchanging stories and one-upping each other
Tim The First: I think you’re well-intentioned, but naive. I don’t go around LOOKING for racial incidents, and truth be told, day to day, I didn’t have them constantly as a child or as an adult.
However, that makes the ones that happen stand out, because I was either frozen by inaction (how will this look, did I misinterpret, who’s around me, what will happen if I respond, it is worth my time), or I was dismissed by adults around me or peers (if as an adult), or I was in an unsafe situation where I had no backup. Even innocent incidents became burdens over time (answering the same questions over and over, dealing with sterotypes, etc.). The whole POINT of sites like ARP is to share what we (as minorities or simply as human beings with eyes open) know, talk about new issues that we’ve never had to deal with ourselves, and be concrete in our application of those life lessons.
You think that we’re all misinterpreting racist or ethnically biased actions that happen to us? Really, I’ve heard the same things from people of various backgrounds over and over again - how could we ALL be interpreting comments and actions the same way? Groupthink?
Posted 22 Feb 2007 at 11:02 am ¶
Kathy wrote:
I just want to add here that my mother’s closest
friend is Puerto Rican and she lives in a nice
highrise in NYC. I can’t tell you how many times she has been asked how her neighbors
are doing as if she is their maid.
I have been repeatedly asked if I am my
children’s teacher or babysitter in restaurants because I am white and
my children are Chinese.
Or how about the time a man on a bus kept
talking to my child and when she refused to
answer him he asked “what’s the matter,
doesn’t she speak English yet?”. Or how
about the time a kid on the playground told
my child that she was a “foreigner”.
You see, it’s not just one time, one incident,
it is a collection of incidents that over time
become so overwhelmingly weary.
And to be told that we are looking for
something that isn’t there, or are being
too sensitive, well, that can be overwhelmingly weary too.
Posted 22 Feb 2007 at 3:29 pm ¶
Tim wrote:
So lets define terms and perhaps even get on the same page.
We have racism, which is a subset of prejudice (since you can be prejudiced regarding characteristics other than race), then you have discrimination which is the manifestation of prejudice.
Stereotyping would be the precursor to prejudice, since in order to have an object of prejudice there has to be some noted common group characteristic.
The first thing that you have to deal with is human instinct. It is a normal reasoning function to stereotype in ones environment and go from the specific to the general (even though this is a logical fallacy), and then ‘discriminate’ based on the generalization.
For example, if you eat three red berries and they all taste bad, in the absence of better information, you could easily form the stereotype that all red berries taste bad. This is called ‘inductive reasoning’, and has been beat into us with a million years of evolution. And rightfully so, since it works fairly well in nature (the hairy thing with the teeth bit me, therefore I should avoid all hairy things with teeth…)
I’m skipping about three books worth, but this is the basis of stereotyping and prejudice.
It is also logical, in an environment of limited enlightenment, to extend this to people. If you are named McCoy and all three Hatfields that you have ever met have tried to take a potshot at you with their trusty Winchester, the next time you see a Hatfiled, you’re likely to duck behind the nearest tree.
Whether justified in the larger picture, at a local level stereotyping and pre-judgement can be perfectly logical. I might not agree with it, but if someone’s only experience with a race is to be seriously hurt by members of that race, I can’t argue when they extend that hate to an entire race.
But this is not what we are talking about, because there is another way the prejudices are learned. By that same inductive reasoning, my slap-happy grand-pappy tells me (and shows me he believes) that “those” people have certain bad qualities and should be treated accordingly. Now this is the same guy who taught be to fish, and has been right about a hundred other things. Therefore I believe him and act accordingly, not realizing that grand pappies wisdom stems from a bar fight in 1932.
To me, this is the kind of racism that needs to be dealt with (and thus my solution from above).
You will never stop people from making judgements based on personal experience, and thereafter making pre-judgements based on those experiences (parallel thought, people who don’t learn from their mistakes are considered naive, stupid, etc). To do that is to try to fight human instinct, it can’t be done, its been tried many times (ask the former Soviets).
However you can prevent your children’s inheritance of prejudice by overcoming your own prejudice and not passing it on. Then you have to pay attention to what your child is learning from other people and make sure they understand where those thoughts come from, and why they those prejudices can’t be relied on to make his decisions on how to treat people.
This is my interpretation of some concepts from evolutionary psychology. Comments?
Again, for specific situations, ask Sara a question http://www.parentingwithsara.com
Posted 22 Feb 2007 at 9:15 pm ¶
Kathy wrote:
Tim,
Could you please re-phrase the question?
I don’t understand what you are asking,
although I can appreciate your hopes of
getting on the same page.
Posted 22 Feb 2007 at 10:45 pm ¶
Denise wrote:
I have heard the Hatfield/McCoy analogy before, and it just doesn’t fly for me. That situation is one family, raised in the same place, obviously having many of the same values. To judge an entire race by the same standards is just silly, as they are not all from the same family, or even area for that matter.
Jerks come in all colors, and people from all races can do awful things. Using your logic, it would be hard not to hate everyone, if you base your hatred on the color of people who have done awful things.
Because you are white, should we assume you are a klansman? White men have done some pretty bad things… they have have ‘certain bad qualities and should be treated accordingly.’
I realize you are speaking of people who have “only” had bad experiences with certain races. In this day and age, such limited exposure would be difficult. I guess this is where the ‘concrete’ examples come into play. Being a ‘non-racist’ parent is not enough. You need to not just expose your child to diversity, but enrich their lives with it.
Posted 23 Feb 2007 at 7:20 am ¶
Lyonside wrote:
Thanks for that Denise - I was hoping Tim The First would reply before we had to carve his statement apart, but your points are all a great start.
Let me add one thing: The “evolutionary” argument is TIRED. It’s the pseudo-scientific counterpoint to the creationist racist argument (not saying all creationists are racist, but of those that are) that God seperated the races by region, so there should be no race- “mixing” and racism is justified.
What is unique about the type of racism developed in the 1700s/1800s is that it really sought to make HUGE generalizations, based on limited and developing scientific thought, and applied physical characteristics intrinsically to often-imaginary and convenient, if not actively contradictory, mental or psychological “traits.” In other words, the institutional racism that has NOTHING to do with someone’s personal experiences, and everything to do with cultural imagery and perceptions. Often it becomes self-fulfilling prophecies - Asians aren’t given equal opportunities so they work incredibly hard under stressful conditions… so the stereotype of the “hardworking submissive Asian” is reinforced. Blacks were kept at a substandard education level - self-fulfilling prophecy: they’re too stupid to learn. And so on…
People often bring up the idea of slavery being an constant human evil throughout history, from which we have “evolved”. (Never mind that forced labor and slavery are still present in some parts of the world).
To which I say, Yes, but the Romans, Greeks, Persians, etc. didn’t say that entire groups of people should be enslaved simply for existing, or for their own good- slaves were enemies captured in battle, or debtors working off their debt (especially if highly skilled or educated), or children of the same. It took European and American ingenuity 1500+ years later to come up with the “for the betterment of their race” arguments and to define exactly what the “race” was and meant.
And lest anyone think it’s a white/black issue, that’s just the most obvious. The same can apply to Asians, Latinos, recent immigrants, etc. My point is this: pointing to individual historical examples and shrugging one’s shoulders is worthless, no matter where you stand in society. It helps noone and solves nothing. And to blame “cultural evolution?” Is the lowest of the low, to this science-lover.
Posted 23 Feb 2007 at 10:05 am ¶
Kathy wrote:
Lyonside & Denise,
Thanks for your explanation. I had no idea
what Tim the One was talking about and it
just seemed to me that he is trying to confuse the issue and isn’t listening to any thing but his own ideas. The thing about the three red berries tasting bad annoyed me so much I think I just stopped reading the rest of his post.
Maybe I am being a bit cynical here, but
I was thinking that Tim the One isn’t really
interested in being an anti-racist parent,
but I was still hoping he really does want to
be on the same page?
Posted 23 Feb 2007 at 1:03 pm ¶