Columnist intro: Cloudscome
by Anti-Racist Parent columnist Cloudscome
When I was in third grade we were living in a working class suburb of Cleveland. My school was about half Black and half White, with some Asian kids too. My parents bought a house in a neighborhood about a mile away so I had to change schools yet again for fourth grade. When I told my friends that I would be going to the other elementary school in the district they said,
“Oooh, you are going to Westwood? Those kids are tough over there. They carry guns to school!”
I was scared silly. Then school started and I went to Westwood and started making new friends. When I told my new friends that I had come from the other school they said,
“Ooooh! You came from Eastwood? Those kids are tough over there. They carry guns and knives to school!”
I had to laugh, which made them think I was even tougher. It was an Aha! moment for me. People are just scared of what is different or distant from them. There are tough kids and nice kids all over and you can’t believe what they say about each other.
In that fourth grade class I made friends with a Black girl named Cookie. When I say friends I mean I liked her a lot and she tolerated me sometimes. She was one of the cool kids. I thought she had an amazingly spunky, brave, funny, clever outlook on life. She used to sing at the top of her voice “What the world needs now, is more of ME!” ala Dionne Warwick. I thought she had the most gorgeous café au lait skin in the world and I wanted to be Black like her. One day I told her I thought her skin was beautiful and I wished I was Black. She looked at me like I was crazy and laughed at me. She told me that was foolish. It was one of the first times in my life I felt like a dumb little white girl. I still feel that way sometimes, and I still admire Black women who stand up in the world and sing with all they’ve got.
My oldest is 19. He is a freshman in college and I feel like he is launched into the world with the best I could give him. I have shifted my focus to dreams for my younger boys now. I want my little sons to grow up strong and determined and good-hearted like the Black men I have known in my life. I want them to have the best education possible. I want them to be proud of their heritage and steeped in the legacy their people have brought from the African cultures that hold their roots. I want them to be men of peace and justice, bold enough to let their light shine in a world of fear and confusion.
I wonder about what type of school is best for them. I dream of a school with a balanced mix of all races that teaches rigorous academics as well as peace and justice, creative problem solving, integrity, simplicity and equality. I want them to grow up in a community of diverse ethnicities and races. I want them to have Black friends and role models and be comfortable in a variety of situations. I want a progressive education with a diverse faculty and student body in a school with fantastic resources and a community of families that are connected and committed.
I would love to be in a conversation here with other parents about what type of school you dream of for your children. I am intensely interested in hearing what Black parents say they dream of for their children and what strategies they use to get there. I am equally intensely interested in what White parents with Children of Color and/or White children dream of for their children’s education. I’d like to be part of the discussion that approaches the question: “How do you find or help build the schools that will best prepare our children to combat racism and have the greatest positive impact on the world?”
Cloudscome is a single mother of three sons. The oldest is biological and European-American; the younger two are adopted, African-American and African-Hispanic-American. She is a Library-Media Specialist and on her blog a wrung sponge she writes about the books she is reading, poetry (particularly haiku), gardening, teaching, adoption and mothering. She tends to focus on books by and about People of Color.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
daddyinastrangeland wrote:
Welcome aboard, Cloudsome!
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 10:01 am ¶
Dawn wrote:
Heh — I have your blog open in another browser tab to go comment there, too! Welcome!!!
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 10:38 am ¶
Meera wrote:
Greetings, Cloudscome!
Like you, I dream of the same things for my children. The “perfect school” conversation is an ongoing discussion in my home as our daughter is approaching kindergarten this fall (where does the time go?). I appreciate your comments on my blog and truly look forward to more indepth conversations with you here on ARP. Welcome!
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 12:38 pm ¶
Margie wrote:
I am sssooooo glad to see you here - welcome aboard! You know I love your blog - and your awesome photography - and it is going to be great to have your thoughts posted here, too.
Excellent!!
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 1:55 pm ¶
Amanda/Mayhem Mama wrote:
Glad to see you writing here!
Deciding where our boys will go to school has been one of our most difficult parenting decisions so far. At this point we’re taking it year by year (even month by month sometimes, it seems), and re-evaluating as the boys grow.
I’m anxious to read what others have to say on the topic.
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 2:59 pm ¶
Nicole wrote:
What a great and timely post. I’m actually composing a post right now where I blog (www.svmoms.com) on your exact question. I’m a white parent of white children, but my parents have gotten really involved in the very diverse community where they live and my son is at preschool there. We are looking at kindergartens right now (reg. day is next week for both areas where we’re looking). Your “dream” summed it up so well. And I love the point of “find or help build” as that’s what we may need to do. Welcome.
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 4:34 pm ¶
Julia wrote:
Ah, that grade-school admiration sounds so very familiar to me.
I think I’d take up far too much space here trying to answer your question on schools, except to say that my ideal is very similar to yours.
Perhaps I’ll find the time to write an entry of my own and link to it here.
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 7:08 pm ¶
Kim wrote:
Sandals on her feet,
sundress and straw bag in hand,
she steps, sees: clouds come
*
Welcome! Will have to think about the question, as I’m mostly torn, and working toward an unhealthy cynicism about where to find the best of this, the best of that, and how to instill in my children the freedom and openness to nourish themselves by pulling from all parts of themselves, and what the world offers.
A bushy little brown headed boy is always so tossed about by the way light refracts through the lens of others’ eyes when they look upon him.
Will get back to you.
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 8:17 pm ¶
Miss Cellania wrote:
I think about this a lot, since we are going to be moving to a new town. A city, I hope. The school my kids attend will make or break a decision. High academic expectations, yes, because they need all the push they can get. But also a real world mix of people. There is no “perfect” school, but thats no reason not to aim for the best.
Posted 24 Jan 2007 at 10:07 pm ¶
Jae Ran wrote:
Welcome! I look forward to reading more.
Posted 25 Jan 2007 at 1:45 pm ¶
cloudscome wrote:
I am so happy to be part of this discussion. You all are so encouraging.
Kim! Is that a haiku you wrote?! It’s lovely! Do you have a blog I should be reading?
I am at a very good school now where my boys will attend (Buddy starts Kindergarten in the fall - Yikes!). It is a great school in every aspect BUT one biggie - there is not enough diversity. I am wondering what I can do to help us work on attracting and keeping more families of color. It is an independent school and somewhat expensive, but we do have tuition aid. I’d love to hear ideas about how to work on expanding our diversity, in faculty and student body. There is a strong diversity committee that I think I could have input on if I knew what to ask for…
And I wonder about how to weigh all the qualities I think are important… academics vs. social skills vs. balance of race/ethnicity/class and everything else. What is most important? What do I need to move heaven and earth to be sure my boys get enough of? I am looking for wisdom.
Posted 25 Jan 2007 at 3:21 pm ¶
Kim wrote:
That was just for you. I know I broke the rules about the punctuation, but it’s been years, so I allowed myself some…poetic license.
That balance you speak of is all I can think about, and I seem to only focus on my oldest son. Maybe because he’s “gifted,” and has never fully been challenged, or maybe it’s because he simply defies what people are willing to accept of flesh-and-blood Black boys, so I think I’ve made compromises to keep him “safe.”
Not wanting him to be a “token,” I haven’t even sought admission to private schools; not wanting him to have to prove his “Blackness,” I have no willingness to have him in an inner-city public school, though that is my background, and I have wonderful memories.
Wanting a rigorous academic environment, I also know I want him to be able to explore his thoughts and ideas of fairness and justice in the school place/ within that community, and not be alone in doing so.
I grit my teeth, I lose sleep. I think I am suffering from Audre Lorde’s butt-kicking summation of “incompetent fear.” And yet, I must do, for each of them.
Again, I will report back, when I can be helpful.
Posted 25 Jan 2007 at 9:34 pm ¶