Columnist intro: Meera
by Anti-Racist Parent columnist Meera Bowman Johnson
I never thought I’d raise my children in the country, but when my husband was offered a professorship at a well-respected liberal arts college in upstate New York, we nixed our plan for raising worldly Manhattan tots in favor of a slower pace. Ultimately it was a joint decision, but I packed our boxes with trepidation. I worried about the prospect of raising our young daughter and future children in the small, rural enclave we were headed for. I never dreamed we’d end up in a remote locale with non-existent nightlife, shockingly little diversity and no place to send my husband out for milk (or milkshakes if I was pregnant) at three o’clock am.
Without a doubt, the absolute last thing I expected was to find myself raising children in a place I’d be more likely to see a wild turkey crossing the street than another middle-class black family like mine. As a parent, I feared that our kids would be vulnerable to the type of racial slights that typically affect people of color who live in homogeneously white communities. I agreed with everyone who thought the Mid-Hudson Valley was beautiful – after all, it had inspired an entire movement of landscape painters – but I wasn’t 100% convinced that the grass was greener for us.
Having grown up in an affluent Philadelphia suburb, I’ve encountered my fair share of prejudice. Most often, it was simply things I overheard – like my third grade teacher and the elementary school principal whispering terms like “spics” and “slants” while trying to get a headcount of the minorities in the room. Or my parents mumbling about how our new neighbors put a big, black and yellow FOR SALE sign up when they learned that a black family (ours) was moving in and were worried the neighborhood was “turning”. To this day, Mr. and Mrs. Moss still live two doors down from my parents, and are perfectly comfortable asking to borrow my dad’s hedge clippers – but I guess that’s besides the point. And then there was that time Brian Duckert told everyone that the only reason I’d been accepted to the University of Maryland was because I was black and female and he was a white male (he would have really hated to know U of M was actually my last choice.)
As an anti-racist parent, I’ll share these experiences and others like it with my kids as they inevitably face similar problems of their own. But I plan to do this carefully, so as not to create feelings of victimhood or a bias against other ethnicities. I want them to have a genuine respect for their own heritage and that of others, regardless of race or religion. I don’t think that last part will be too hard for them considering their great grandmother is Irish American and they’ve got Irish Catholic aunts, uncles and cousins, in addition to several cousins who live in Japan. My husband’s step mother is Jewish and they even have a great aunt who’s both Jewish and black.Within our own family, we’ve got a bumper crop of diversity – all of it will help educate our children about the world and the variation within it.
Looking back, I’m really glad we decided to move here. I can’t take in the breathtaking Catskill Mountain and Hudson River views without pausing to feel thankful just for being alive; it’s a privilege to see my children thrive in a place that’s so connected to nature. I wouldn’t trade picking blueberries or making snow angels with my angels for anything. And if I’m lucky enough to watch them come of age with a healthy appreciation for their own culture and a genuine respect for others’, I’ll really know I got something right.
Meera Bowman Johnson is a freelance writer and full time mom who is also the former Associate Art Director of Essence Magazine. Her work has been featured in HealthQuest: The Publication of Black Wellness, Code: The Style Magazine for Men of Color, Black Issues Book Review, Mommy Too! Magazine and Honey. She lives with her husband, Mat Johnson, and their three children in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. Her online alter ego, Mrs. J, blogs about race, pop-culture and parenting.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
daddyinastrangeland wrote:
Welcome aboard, Meera! La dra. and I have been loving your blog, and it’s so good to have you here too.
Posted 29 Dec 2006 at 10:38 am ¶
Kim wrote:
Meera-
I went to sleep dreaming of the Catskills! You’ve ruined me, as for the last week or two I’ve been dreaming that a particular bend on a road we travel everyday winds up in different cities we’ve lived in…in the Mid-West, NYC. As a matter of fact, one night I was sure I was awake, and walking to the sliding glass doors, and upon looking out found myself peering into a snow-capped Central Park. It felt so good, I sighed deeply. Took me two days to recuperate from the shock of finding there were still Palm and Eucalyptus trees in the back yard.
But, to you…
>Most often, it was simply things I overheard – like my third grade teacher and the elementary school whispering terms like “spics” and “slants” while trying to get a headcount of the minorities in the room….
Yes, and sometimes it slips out of their mouths right in a conversation with you. The principal of the little affluent ‘burg we’re in here, in his role as mediator after my son retaliated for being teased, ended one of his statements with, “your son is in my school to get a second chance, make a fresh start…” and then went on to extoll the virtues of the little blonde girls, and their families, with whom he’d had extended contact.
Little slight things that people say should not offend, should not be seen to intimate anything more than the surface statement itself, will drive you crazy if you don’t call people on it. Make them hear it, make them repeat it. Make them eat it.
My son knows nothing of the prolonged fight I underwent with the district, and thinks the prinicpal was his pal.
Because what we do is protect them, in Manhattan (I want them to be in the middle of the mess!), Mexifornia (where you will only see brown when you look down at the gardens), or the Hudson River Valley.
And they’ll thrive because they have you. Hopefully, you will not find a cluster of grays over your right ear, unexpectedly, one morning.
Your little ones are darling…hope to hear more from you.
Posted 30 Dec 2006 at 2:13 pm ¶
Meera wrote:
daddyinastrangeland – Thanks so much, it’s an honor to join you here!
Kim – Thanks. Why do I have the feeling we could talk for hours? And your dream of the Catskills is the equivalent of my recurrent one that I returned to Santa Monica, where we lived for a few months before kids. It’s freezing outside right now – I will gladly swap these majestic pines for your lovely eucalyptus trees any time between now and April. Just say the word!
Posted 30 Dec 2006 at 10:45 pm ¶
Kim wrote:
So funny because I was looking to do just that last winter.
Yes, I said as much to my husband about the potential for long conversation with you. So I’m not crazy, unless, like Billy Joel used to sing…
Posted 31 Dec 2006 at 5:57 pm ¶
Jae Ran wrote:
Welcome to ARP, I look forward to reading more of your essays.
Posted 31 Dec 2006 at 6:24 pm ¶
Kathy wrote:
Hi Meera,
I really enjoyed reading your intro. You write:
>>
I am Irish/French American so I think it is more
difficult for me to teach my China born adopted
children about racism because my life experiences
have been shaped and influenced by my
privilege. I hope you will write
more about the ways we can help our children
learn about racism without creating feelings
of victimhood. That is an excellent point that
you make.
Posted 02 Jan 2007 at 12:40 pm ¶
Michelle wrote:
I also feel ambivalent about choosing to live out here “in the country”: on one hand there is the closeness of neighbors and the slower pace but on the other hand, the school board just voted to change “winter break” back to “christmas break” and the neighborhoods are so segregated here that all you see are racial stereotypes. “It takes a village…” so what are we up against in this segregated one?
Posted 02 Jan 2007 at 4:36 pm ¶
Margie wrote:
Meera, welcome aboard! I’m looking forward to reading more about you, your family, and your experiences.
Posted 05 Jan 2007 at 7:32 pm ¶
Meera wrote:
Thanks for the warm welcome. I look forward to chatting with all of you on this terrific (and much needed) blog. Happy New Year!
Posted 08 Jan 2007 at 6:43 pm ¶
Sasha wrote:
Hi Meera, I’m so grateful I came upon this blog. How blessed I am to have a friend like you…to share with me the issues I have not had to face myself but will with my daughter. Thank you for all your insight and experiences.
Love Sasha
Posted 12 Jan 2007 at 11:06 pm ¶
Meera wrote:
Thanks so much, Sasha! I had no idea you even saw this! Please continue to visit ARP to share your point of view and pick up where we (constantly) leave off regarding all of the things that affect ourselves and our children as we go about our day-to-day lives.
Love to you and m.z.u.,
mbj
Posted 19 Jan 2007 at 4:23 pm ¶